Nearly 12 months free yet still getting urges.

[ASkatersDream...]

I'll be 12 months free on the 6th january yet I still get urges and in a way still miss it. Is this normal?

[Aardbei]

I think so, just like an alcoholic who has been teetotal for years can still miss having a drink. It's an addiction. The difference is you've learned better ways to deal with things and even though you still get the urges, you don't have to act on them :)

Congrats on your almost year free lovely!

[Pi.R^2]

Yes. I'm nearly 16 months free, and whilst there have been months where I've hardly had any urges at all, in more recent months I've had really strong (and what I would have once called uncontrollable) urges. I think in general it gets easier over time, but in times of extreme stress or difficulty it can get really hard, even after all this time. In terms of missing it- do you miss just the release, or the whole lifestyle of wound care and secrets and self-destruction. I find I miss the very moment of self harm, but I don't miss the person that it made me.

Congrats on your year free and best of luck getting through the urges. You can do this!

[backafterthebridge]

Oh my gosh yes. I'm getting close to two years if my math is right and I still cry myself to sleep some nights because I feel so ashamed that I still get urges. The important thing is that you are staying clean. That's really the biggest part of it. The best thing I can tell you is to make sure there's at least one person in your life who knows and who will listen and help when you get urges...not flip out and get all worried.
Don't feel defeated or strange or anything like that! We all get this way sometimes. Way to go for making it this far! That's such a huge victory. Know that it does get better with time. The urges keep getting weaker and less frequent. I promise. :)

[Mrs Sam]

Recovery definitely isn't about the urges going away. Just about managing them better without giving in. Apart from the odd slip ups over the years I've been free for probably 3ish years now and I still think about harming myself, sometimes quite often! However I've now learnt to manage these thoughts without them coming to anything.

Well done on being free for that long its a huge achievement!

[ASkatersDream...]

Thanks guys just want the 12 months to hurry up lol. Just to prove I can do it