help me

Ihavetobelieve33 · 05-11-2013, 03:55 PM

I want to go back to residential treatment. I was there for bulimia, self harm, and suicidal ideation. I think I need to go back because I am drowning in my bulimia and thoughts all over again. Luckily, I haven't self harmed in weeks! My mom told me, "I want you to focus on finishing school, and nothing else." So now I am feeling an immense amount of pressure. I can't focus on recovery anymore. I am dying and I need help. I am planning my suicide, but I can't seem to pick a date. I was going to call a hotline the other day but I chickened out. I purged yesterday and it was really, really bad. I am falling apart. Help.

lauracathrine1x · 05-11-2013, 06:39 PM

You need to seek help as soon as possible if you a seriously planning suicide. I have been in that dark place and trust when I say, there is a life outside and you can live it, you are very much alive and you have the option now to find ways to give yourself the chances you deserve. Please don't be afraid to ask for help to find those chances.
I'm sure your mum just wanted to show you that it would be good to focus on something other than just the things that are obviously troubling you, have you told her you feel pressure from this? Maybe you can find a way to ease it a little bit. Take care, Laura. <3

FranticMind · 05-11-2013, 06:50 PM

hey :)

i can seriously empathise with wanting to go back to hospital/residential treatment, especially to do with bulimia. i know how hard it is to keep on going with recovery, but you have to do it for yourself, you have to push yourself to get better.

Ihavetobelieve33 · 05-11-2013, 10:20 PM

Thank you guys for the advice. It made me feel a bit more at ease today. I genuinely appreciate it. I have therapy today.. I will report back afterwards.. <3

lauracathrine1x · 06-11-2013, 12:40 AM

Okay, I hope it helps a little more today. :) <3

Ihavetobelieve33 · 06-11-2013, 02:36 AM

I had therapy... we sort of didn't talk about any of the pressing issues at hand at all. We just went through my workbooks and talked about an upcoming appointment I have.. :( I'm so lost and anxious. My friend, Cassi, thinks I am in grave danger because I'm so sick.

lauracathrine1x · 08-11-2013, 01:03 AM

Your friend obviously cares about you but by being negative she isn't helping you. Please don't be afraid to tell your therapist that you have something that you need to talk about, that is your reason for being there, your therapy should be tailored to you and focus on how to help you find ways to ease the things which are troubling you, if you feel it is not helping maybe you need to look at other ways to talk and get extra support. Wishing you well, Laura. <3