broke up with my gf

zivalover16 · 02-11-2013, 09:40 PM

Yesterday my girlfriend decided to tell me she smoked a joint because she wanted to. She knows how much I hate it and how allergic I am to any type of smoke. She got mad with me that I hadn't visited her lately (I've been running from dr appts to dr and am sick on top of if). She was recently diagnosed with thyroid cancer and needs to have surgery in December. I didn't want to do this but she was cursing at me and being rude to me. I told her we should take a break and she got angry with me. At first I was upset and sobbing but then we got into a huge fight a facebook where everything was my fault. She is jealous of the relationship I have with my mom and she used it against me last night. I had told my ex that I had burned myself on purpose and my mom didn't know. She decided to tell my mom last night. Thankfully my mom knew we were fighting and handled it really well.
I went to dinner with my parents and got a little drunk but talked to my brother and then my cousin for over two hours. They all said I was making the right choice. I posted a status saying that I was happy and felt like I made the right decision and felt blessed to have my family. One of her friends started responding with really nasty stuff about how I was being selfish and it wasn't only my health that I needed to be concerned about and that I was a bitch and all this other cruel stuff. I told her she needed to know both sides before judging and that she should read my gf texts then tell me that I was being selfish. After all this my ex never apologized but started saying she loved me and she wanted to get back together and she was pushing me away so I wouldn't be misierable if she died. I told her that was no excuse for the way she treated me and made me feel. She's looking at everything negatively because she is miserable. I told her this would be a great time to see a therapist (she got upset when I suggested it before). She said maybe so I told her I would look at our relationship only if she gets the help she needs. I still have feelings for her but whenever she was in a bad mood she would take it out on me.

sorry this is so long it's just a lot for me to deal with and I needed to get it all out. I don't see my therapist until Monday and can only get so much support from my family. I've wanted to cut so badly since this all started but am trying so hard not so specially since I start my new job Wednesday.... If you've read all of that, thank you, if you only read part of it, still thank you. I could just use some support right now

zivalover16 · 02-11-2013, 09:51 PM

I just want to add that I know she's not to blame completely for this. Once the fighting started I wasn't awful to her but I wasn't nice to her either.

Sketchy · 03-11-2013, 01:12 PM

Maybe a little break for you both to get your head around the situation may help. You are both going through so much, it is likely that you will both get stressed and angry. Take time to decide if you want to break up, it may be that you both need to talk things out when you are both calmer to work things out.
It's important you both know where each other stand and that verbal abuse is never acceptable. Could you arrange to meet here when you are both calm to have a good talk?

Crysainta · 04-11-2013, 03:32 AM

I want you to know I read this and it sounds like you are in a difficult situation that you are handling the best you can. I don't have anything to add to the advice given to you, but I think gathering up all your strength right now is important.

zivalover16 · 04-11-2013, 11:56 PM

I tried talking to her and she didn't even try and make any changes... In fact she told me she was going to smoke more and when I said I can't date a smoker it's your decision she said ur the one who broke up with me....She got really immature about it and started harassing me. I blocked her on both fb and cell phone.... I feel at peace with how things worked out