Try again hun. Anything is better than feeling as low as you do. Cover all those options, because help is out there and available. It's just going about getting it, not being put off by crappy doctors/nurses etc. Try again with a different doctor/psych. It's definitely worth getting professional help.
*hugs tightly* As hard as it is, try to have hope. You will not be feeling this way forever, I assure you. Help is available, circumstances and situations in life change. I understand how hard it is to look positively when you're feeling so low, but do try. You could possibly make a happy box. It's a great distraction, and gives you something to look at when you're feeling down. It's something to continually add to, recognising all those good days and great memories.
Write things down, talk to someone (speak to a supporter via Live Assistance or e-mail?)...get things out of your system in a healthy way. It's so much healthier than SIing. It's an option, always one to consider, but only you can make such a decision.
Please take care of yourself. Let us know how you're doing :)
xo
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