What do I say/do?

[Kelly.]

My best friend has been ill for a while and has been pretty sure she's had a serious illness but she'd been waiting for an appointment at the hospital for them to give her a official diagnosis. I'd rather not say what the illness is incase there's some way she could read this but she's been amazingly strong throughout this. All the time I've known her I've only ever heard her complain about this like 3 times.

She had an appointment this morning to find out if she's got what why thought she had. She said last week she was really nervous about this appointment but doesn't like talking about it because it makes it more scary. Obviously I wasn't going to make her talk when she didn't want to but I let her know I'm here for her if/when she wants to talk.

So I text her this morning to wish her luck with her appointment and I asked her to let me know what the doctor said. But because she's said before and last week that she doesn't want to talk about it I didn't ask how she was feeling about it because I knew she would rather try to be positive than think the worse. So I tried to stay up beat for her.

Then I got a text later on and she said she's been diagnosed with what they thought she has . I asked her if she's feeling OK and she said she's just glad that now she knows for sure what's wrong with her and hopefully something can be done about it soon. She's got stuff on this afternoon so I haven't got to talk to her much yet but she's said she's feeling OK. I've told her again since this morning that I'm here if she wants to talk but argh what the hell do I say? I know she's quite happy for now to carry on as normal because she's not ill right now so she's trying to not let it bother her. But I'd hate to think she's keeping it all to herself and worrying about it without telling anyone. So do I try to get her to talk or just wait for her to come to me if she wants to?

Just feel like a bit of a bad friend if I don't try to talk about it. And feel silly talking about normal things when this is quite serious.

Argh what do I say/do?

[Hummingbird.]

Hey,
she most likely won't want to talk about it because it upsets her if it's bought up or maybe it hasn't quite sunk in?
Either way, as long as she knows that you're her number one person to talk to if she needs anyone (which i'm sure you did) is the best you can do.
The illness might not even upset her at the moment and she's living as usual, as there should be no difference.
But I guess all you can do is be there for her.
Pretty pointless reply.
Sorry i'm not much help.
xxx

[noangelic]

she is probly blocking it out because if she doesnt she wont know how she would be able to cope with whatever her illness is. or else she could be in denial. sometimes the best thing to do is to do nothing. i know it's hard but when shes ready to talk about it she will. it may seem silly but keep things as normal & as posivite as possible. i know thats all i could do when my friend was ill.

[hopeless]

Don't feel like a bad friend.
I think you are doing really well.
Be there for her, when she want's to talk. That maybe be never, but you can't push her to anything.
Give her time, maybe one day, when she is ready, she will talk with you about that.
I think that she just need to come to terms with that, herself first.
So don't worry about being a bad friend.

[Kelly.]

She's sort of known she's been ill for a while now and I think she has sort of come to terms with it because there was a big possibility it was definately what the doctors thought it was. I'd just hate to think she's upset about it but thinks she can't talk to me because I haven't tried to talk to her about it. But I really don't want to make her talk and upset her.

But I've just talked to her and she seems OK, managed to have a bit of a laugh so hopefully everything will be OK for her.

[raistlin]

That's awesome that you are looking out for her. :) Just keep checking on her every so often and see that she is still doing okay. She may not want to talk, but you letting her know you care is worth a lot.