Reviews Requested- Contains upsetting material - Lullaby [second song for story is up]

[LizzieRose]

I wrote a song for this book I'm going to write. First, I'll show you the basic summary.

Summary: There's a song haunting this girl, not scary haunting. She just wants to remember it completely. She only remembers a few notes which are the same as the melody of "Hush Little Baby", but it's not that song. It's bothering her, so she goes to her therapist for help. As she explores this lost song, she remembers stuff from her past. Scary stuff. As well as someone she knew.

[Verse 1]
The creatures are watching,
Every move I make.
I feel like I'm choking.
Have I been foresaked?
The lights have turned to black.
Will I ever come back?

[Chorus]
Hush, little child,
Don't say a word.
The demons of hell,
Have come forward.
And if you don't feel fear right now,
They're gonna cut your throat in half.
Your mother left you in this town.
We're here to hurt you and then laugh.

[Verse 2]
The monsters are chasing,
Poor, sad, little me.
I feel so damn tired.
When can I sleep?
The lights have turned to red.
Is this how I end?

[Bridge]
I'm so sorry for not being strong,
But this world is so ****ing wrong.

[Chorus x2]

It's a work in progress still I guess, but I think it's pretty good. What do you think?

[pixiedust_11]

Ooh very creepy. I sort of half hummed it to the tune of hush little baby in my head when reading it and it was quite effective. Well done.

[LizzieRose]

I wrote the song my main character will write about in the beginning of the story. c:

Melodic Dream

[Intro]
La la la la la,
La la la la,
La la la la la la la,
La la la.

[Chorus]
This melody haunts my head,
Every time I go to bed.
What's its purpose in my life?
Its notes cut me like a knife.

[Verse 1]
I know the common lullaby,
But it shares its notes with that tune.
I cannot seem to know these words.
I keep trying to the high noon.

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]
I can't remember the artist,
Who used this well-known melody.
I think that I use to know them.
Why is my memory cloudy?

[Bridge]
I'm determined to find,
Who you are.
I can't standing not knowing,
What's your name.
Just show yourself to me.
Stop driving me crazy.

[Chorus]