People trying to help you w depression

[Snow White.]

So a few people recently were informed of how much I'm struggling, particularly with depression.
They're very kind so they're checking in on me, which I appreciate.

But I'm not getting any better and it's a hard line to know what to say; right now I am saying I'm struggling but still trying because I don't want to be all negative but eventually it's just going to look like me being negative all the time.

I've even started lying to others and not telling them when things are bad because it's just so continual.

I guess I'm wondering how you deal with balancing honesty and also the fact it's a chronic condition, with not wanting to always be a downer.

(I do try and appear happy and make jokes so that balances it out a bit)

Not sure if this makes sense :/

[Serendipity.]

Well done for managing to tell people, that is very brave.

I agree that you shouldn't be too concerned about being honest with them, it sounds like they care and want to be there for you. Don't feel under pressure to lie about how you are.

Maybe it would be helpful to consider what you would like from them, how they can best support you. Also don't feel bad if you don't always want to talk about how you are.

If you are worried about always coming across as negative, perhaps you would find it useful to be honest but also try to come up with some positives about how you are and what you've been doing to mention to them. I hope that doesn't come across wrong; I don't mean you should have to put a positive spin on things all the time for their sake, but that it may be helpful for you to see things in a balanced way.

[katherine2]

I feel you Snow White. I certainly understand the feelings. You are trying to protect yourself from vulnerability while protecting people around you by being tough on the outside.

You are very lucky to have such support around you. I think it would be healthy though if you have 1 or 2 people you can trust and confide how you honestly feel. That helps a lot.

[Epicene]

I can really relate to this concern. To an extent, I do think it's warranted because it can become tiring and one sided when one person in a relationship is continually negative or focussed on their own problems. That said, I think you're self aware and compassionate enough about others to avoid your health becoming the focus of any friendships. I think being honest is fine so long as other parts of the friendship (asking how they are, going out, chatting about other things) still continue. I also try to express the fact that it's a chronic issue by being more vague when I'm low but it's tolerable ("feeling pretty low but managing it") and being more specific if things are at a crisis point and I want specific support ("I'm really struggling and could do with some positive distraction/talking").

Hope that helps!

[akita]

Do you think things will improve now that your brother is home? I've been thinking about you.

xx