how to ask for help

[hearts]

i'm struggling with anxiety and depression. the depression made its way into my life at 11, took a break until i was about 17-18 and brought anxiety back with it, and they seem to be staying permanently (i'm 21).

it's getting so bad that i don't know what to do with myself anymore, it's going downhill and i can't stop it.

my head won't let me ask for help. i have a counsellor, but whenever i try saying i'm not okay, it's like a completely different person takes over and tells lies.

am i hopeless, or is there a light at the end of the tunnel?

[Stellata]

Do you have a sense of why your head won't let you ask for help?
What about writing your counsellor a letter?

[cloudedmind]

I know what you mean when you say it feels like someone else takes over and you end up lying. Like Stellata said, you could try writing a letter and taking it with you? Or just keep telling yourself you can say "I'm not okay" or words to that effect - once you've said the first bit, they'll probably ask things related to that, which is easier to answer once you can't avoid it ;)