Personal Piece- Contains upsetting material - *contains bad language* Extracts from a story I'm working on...

[SpyroPrice87]

hey everyone, these extracts are from a story I've been working on. It's about a werewolf pack.
Just kinda wanted everyone's opinion on what I've got going on so far, but didn't want to post up the full amount that I've written so far.
Hopefully you all enjoy reading it...


EXTRACT FROM CHAPTER 1:
Tim looks no more ferocious than an Alsation as he waits for me, playful and patient. The change if watched from the outside looks extremely quick but to the one changing time almost stands still.
I feel my body relax and slowly the change begins with the usual ripples up my arms; my veins are swelling and pushing closer to the surface of my skin, it feels almost like goose bumps but much more intense. My heart pounds at a deadly pace in my rapidly constricting, shrinking chest and I feel like I can barely breathe. I feel the ripples spread to my shoulder blades and down my back and I anticipate the gut wrenching tear that rips through my spine as it twists, contorts and lengthens to become my tail. The tear follows the goose bumps rapidly and it knocks me sick just like it has done every time since I first changed.
I know there will be no going back from here as I feel the pressure in my face increase as my skull shrinks. It's almost too much to bear when I feel the burst of cartilage, flesh and bone turning into a muzzle. Moments later I’m hit by the pinpricks of soft, fine hairs cutting and shooting up through my skin covering everything that was once flesh in long snow white hair. Its wolf or – well, I’m not sure, from here on in.
~♥~
EXTRACT FROM CHAPTER 7:
Julian motions me out of the basement and away from Gris and Vix on guard duty. Once outside in the main grounds a cool breeze washes over me, bringing with it all the glorious smells of the forest around me. I long to run.
My muscles ache, wanting to contort and shift. Oh! How I long to shift and dash and dart though the trees, almost as much as I long to shove my muzzle deep down into the earthy mush and sniff out the delightful scent of a possible hunt. Rabbit or Deer. Whatever makes my stomach growl the hungriest. In my head I'm already running, a million miles away from here, chasing a rabbit. Free and... and FREE!
“Kimber!!” Julian's voice is so distant now, it's almost like I'm a million miles away... A searing pain tears me from my thoughts. I am running! And my skin is rippling, tearing; I'm about to wolf out. Oh God, no. This can't happen! I slide to a stop, falling on my ass in the mud. Seconds after I do a black wolf pounces on me growling.
“NO!” I scream, my impending shift comes to a total halt and I throw my arms up defensively in front of my face. My first thoughts are that it's Ravyn come to finish the job. That is, of course, until I see the eyes; green like emeralds, “Julian!”.
He suddenly relents the wolf and before my eyes Julian turns human again. He's also naked and I begin to feel a little awkward. Thankfully he doesn't seem to have noticed as he begins a lecture,
“You were going to change! I could see you before my very eyes, your skin rippling, your feet pounding the earth! Kimber, you can not change! What are you thinking? After tonight's incident with Tim I will be lucky to leave the Council with my life and leadership intact. Elders forbid I should have stood by and watched a prohibited werewolf change. Do you have the faintest idea what they would do to me? Ever since the first time I saw you, I knew you would end up being the death of me.”
“What do you mean by that?”
He avoids the question, another unanswered, hazy part of my past for me to mull over. Instead of answering me he glances way off into the distance, seemingly unaware he is minus his pants, “I...” he begins and pauses, thinking, “Kimber...? Would you mind accompanying me to speak with the Elders? I must address the Council regarding Tim. I would be eternally grateful for your moral support.”
“Yes Master.” this time I don't forget my place, I understand the reasons behind his request. He already knows how the Council will choose to punish him.
~♥~
EXTRACT FROM CHAPTER 8:
Great Hall, the name doesn't do the building any justice at all. As we step into the interior I am bowled over by the exquisite décor. Marble columns reaching to the high, intricately painted ceilings. Marble arches gaping wide between the rooms inside.
As we make headway through the rooms, strolling hand in hand under the marble arches my eyes ever-cast upwards to the ceilings decorated with what are surely Michaelangelo inspired works of art. Gloriously boasting colourful, beautiful sun rises, dark and moody dusks and romantic sunsets.
We come to an abrupt halt in the Dusk room. This room is my favourite. It is filled the sparsest the only thing in here worth noting, other than the awe inspiring dusky ceiling is the statue in the centre of the room.
My senses immediately click into wary position as I take in the statue. A nude female – save for a small scrap of material weaving, flowing downwards from her waist, slipped around her full, voluptuous hips and across her modesty – she towers above us. In her arms a wolf cub lies sleepy against her statuesque breasts. Her hair curls and twists beautifully down one side of her perfectly shaped face. She is the picture of beauty. The pinnacle of womanhood and she is made entirely of silver. I can feel its danger emanating from the beautiful statue. It's threat to my mortality.
There is a plaque at her feet. Written in a language I fail to make head or tail of. Julian on the other hand seems to know. He stares at the plaque's inscription grimly. I watch him intently making sense of this situation that I know nothing about. I want to ask him what we're doing here in this room under a painted dusk facing a silver woman and wolf cub. But the concentration and dismay straining his face stops me.
His breath shakes softly as he reaches out a hand to the statue. I feel my eyes widening as the realisation of his actions sinks into me. Julian! No! My insides beseech him but I never utter a word. He's lost in his actions and he wouldn't reach out to her if it wasn't necessary.
“My crime is grave...” he begins to speak as his open hand inches towards her, “My punishment will be just. My acceptance is as such. My Lady, My fate rests inside you.” his hand makes contact on the deadly metal of her thigh. A hissing of burning, frying flesh fills my ears, Julian's face screws in a silent, agonised scream, but no sound passes his parted, agony contorted lips.
His blood trickles down the solid silver thigh and pools to the feet, before draining quietly away down a previously unseen hole. Holy Hell Master, what are you doing? Seconds turn to minutes and he still hasn't removed his hand. He's bleeding quite profusely now and I begin to fear he's going to bleed out right there on her thigh, such a crude way to...
My thoughts are stopped mid sentence as a door behind us grinds open. Julian looks up from the silver feet now. I can't read his facial expression entirely but he looks even more dreadful than he did minutes before. He utters no words, no explanations, no complaints. No hints of what all this means or how he feels about what I can only assume is his chosen fate. Chosen by the Lady....?
He stumbles to his feet, he is extremely unsteady. He looks positively woozy and it's entirely understandable as I get a glimpse of his palm. It's burnt and blistered, red raw and bleeding. He steadies himself and reaches into his inner jacket pocket. I watch, confused and unsure of why I'm here to see all this and what I'm supposed to do. He hasn't requested my help. He pulls a white handkerchief from his inner pocket and with a sense of efficiency and a seeming lack of care for the pain his injury must be causing him he wraps it around his palm. He's a stronger, more resilient individual than I am and I sense his punishment hasn't even begun yet.
~♥~
EXTRACTS FROM 9:
Once my eyes adjust I see Julian has carried on ahead of me and I dash forward and around the corner to catch up with him. Colliding into someone brings me to a dead stop that almost has me falling on my ass.
“Madam!” the man turns and glares at me, reprimanding me like an errant child and I feel a small blush begin in my cheeks, before I realise that he is what I would consider an underling compared to me.
“You would do well to remember I am your elder, do not take that condescending tone with me or I will teach you a lesson you won't quickly forget.”
“And I would thank you not to threaten my staff, Miss James.” a female now stands before me and the reprimanding underling. Where she came from is at this moment unclear. But as I move to the side of the underling I see she came through a door. A big stone door is to her right and standing outside the door is the underling plus one other sentinel.
“My apologies ma'am, I didn't appreciate the tone he chose to take with me.”
“It's refreshing to see someone your age with the respect you clearly have for those who are your elders. I am Baroness Montjoie. You must be who Lord D'Amour is babbling on about. Please, come this way.” she extends her hand out to me, her fingers unbelievably long, her nails beautifully manicured. It strikes me how differently we must live our lives, for her to be so well manicured and quite clearly pampered. I find myself doubting she's the type to embrace her inner beast skidding through mud; loving the feeling of it caking up in her fur. Shaking off the stormy rains with vigour and bounding through the trees with her tongue lolling excitedly all the while.
I chuckle inwardly as I think of her squelching her pampered paws through the thickets of Mill Wood forest in the rain, squeaking like a lost little cub, what I wouldn't give to see that. I chuckle again.
“Something amusing Miss James?” her stern tone pulls me from my thoughts.
“Nothing at all, Baroness Montjoie.” I can't keep the smirk off my face as I plonk my hand into hers. She almost recoils in horror as I do. My bitten down nails are not much to look at, but she should be grateful I haven't run for a few days or there would be a fine layer of filth under them too!


So as to keep it short(ish) I'll leave it there. I know its hard to comment on an incomplete story, but, well, any opinions will be appreciated. In the original document, there is obviously a lot more text formatting (e.g italics used for where Kimber thinks something, bold text for emphasis.).
Thanks in advance! ~♥~