Things just don't get better.

[emptysoul]

I'm not a regular on here but I just needed to get things off my chest, so I'm sorry. My whole life people just keep saying to me that things will get better but I'm fast running out of patience. 24 years is a long time to wait no matter how young people still may tell me I am. I'm so unbearably lonely, I really don't have any friends I can turn to because every time I have tried I have ended up pushing them away. I need to much support and they just can't offer me enough. Every time someone shows any kind of care towards me I take advantage of it and become attached to them then push them away. Even though I still live with my parents they have no idea how unhappy I am because I can't face hurting them. I think I am going to have to leave my job so I don't hurt the person I have become attached to there and I have already ruined the relationships with the people I work with beyond repair. I won't be able to get another job because of my anxiety and agoraphobia. I was going to kill myself last night but every quiet spot I tried to go to had loads of people there so I feel like a complete failure for that. I've now spent all day sat in bed crying just wishing someone who text me just to ask if I'm ok. After all when I left work last night they all knew I wasn't ok. Why doesn't anyone care enough just to send a text asking if I'm ok?

I am so so alone. The NHS won't offer me any support other than medication. I have no one to turn to and I'm trapped inside my own head. This is my last attempt to reach out for someone. Can anyone hear me?

[Slip]

Hey Hun.
You came to the right place to reach out to people - we all understand in one form or another....as many people have said over the years to each other - you just have to hang in there - it often feels like there is nothing can be done - but you soon realise that you are getting through each day - sometimes they are good days - some are not - it's just you have to keep trying to reach the good ones through the bad xxx

[crazykat]

How are you feeling now? It is hard when you feel like you are fighting an endless battle to see things ever changing but they can. It sounds like you could really use some extra support though can you re appeal through NHS to see if they can offer you something more? Keep fighting, it will be worth it in the end