feeling like a failure

[earthbound_misfit]

Just keep feeling so dead and worthless inside. It seemed like there was hope before but now I'm too old, ambitions and hopes and dreams get ever more unlikely. I'm *only* 28 but I feel like I should have achieved more. I've barely ever been able to hold down a job, usually getting fired after a few days, or couple of months if I'm lucky and in a 'good' place mentally.

I have depression, all the symptoms of complex-PTSD (for those who believe in the diagnosis...) and have been misdiagnosed BPD in the past so you get the picture. About to start therapy - FINALLY!

Anyway I read a few blogs etc, and feel like a failure compared to others my age or even younger people. I don't find it so hard with most people, as I know I have suffered in ways they haven't so shouldn't beat myself up about not achieving the same. However, when it's people with similar MH issues, or even issues considered *worse* than mine, it really tears me up. I just don't get how someone can be periodically sectioned, feel so horrific they self-harm severely, and still get a degree/hold down a good job. How do they concentrate to complete study or do their job? How do they get out of bed in the morning? How do they cope with being places at set times if they feel confused and terrified? And why the hell can't I?? Another thing is they often have nice partners who sound really supportive. So why have I had abusive idiots who preyed on my vulnerability? Or worse (from a failure point of view), guys who didn't want to be with me anymore when they found out about my problems. Bearing in mind the outward expression of my distress is very mild compared to some of the people I'm thinking of - yet I'm the one without a nice bloke or chance to have the children I've always wanted.

I just feel like such a failure that I haven't achieved even when compared to those in similar circumstances/with similar problems...

ETA: I have achieved one thing and that is travel... however this requires money and thus the ability to hold down a job! I have tried to DO stuff, but always end up dropping out of courses etc. when things take a dive.

[in a bad way]

Hi

Can I reverse your thinking?? You've just been given a diagnoses of BPD. This could be soul destroying but then you look online at other people with this and it gave you hope and encouragement that you could function very well, as they seem to be. you know you need to concentrate on you and your therapy and maybe go on the BPD threads to find out what methods they employ, meds etc. Maybe set yourself small tasks or write down a few things you wish to achieve before the year is out. PLUS YOU ARE ONLY 28 so you are still young and have another 50 years to get all those things done.

You can spend your whole life looking at what someone else has done (grass is always greener syndrome) and feeling you are less because of it or you can draw strength in the knowledge that your disorder can be overcome (relatively) and if you baby step your way through your own targets, what could you have achieved by the time you're 30?? even if it's one thing, it's still one thing more than you have today. Today you're down because Jane Doe seems better off but one day when you see a post similar I hope you explain where you were when you were 28 xxx

hope this helped. Remember PMA (pos mental attitude)

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[crazykat]

I can relate to this, I'm 28 too. It is shattering when we see people who appear to be coping with things better than us but you have to remember different people cope with things in different ways. It doesn't make you a failure because your not achieving what they are. Your journey is different to theirs. Stop looking at others and focus on yourself. Set your own goals of things you want to achieve and work towards them. However make sure you make sure they are realistic and something that is achievable for you. It doesn't matter how long it takes you to get there, what matters is that you are taking steps towards moving forward in the direction that YOU want YOUR life.

[nightshadesk8r]

This seems very appropriate for a board that celebrates the plumeria :)
Dear, you sound like a late bloomer - some people own the world at 25, some do it at 55, and honestly the older ones do it with more style IMHO
Figure this - Alan Rickman didn't even start acting until he was 28, and didn't get a real break into the business for another 12 years. Col. Sanders (yes, the chicken guy) didn't start KFC until he was in his 60s. There are loads of people that made their way well past when society would say that should have, and they are legends.
Hang in there dear, you may well be a legend too :)

[Babyblue20]

I'm 28 and feel like I am too old to accomplish anything. I don't have enough time to change my life around. I'm not sure why I am even writing this message. I can't offer any advice. I can't even help myself. I just feel like I can relate. It is too late for me.