OCD and schizophrenia / repeating a year at uni.

[Steel Maiden]

This last academic year has gone so badly that I believe I should be allowed to repeat the year.

I developed severe OCD last year (although my psychologist thinks that I've had OCD for quite a few years, but at a lesser severity), to the point that I was spending 5+ hours a day doing compulsions, and a lot of my day was spent on obsessional thoughts. My OCD got a bit better with CBT and an antidepressant, but in the last couple of months it has really flared up again. Now I am unable to study because of the involuntary obsessional thoughts, compulsions and just feeling so anxious and depressed. I am supposed to have exams at the end of this month which are deferred exams, but I cannot study at all. My OCD ruined my ability to catch up on lectures that I couldn't focus in (see below).

I have schizophrenia and I'm on two antipsychotics for it, but because I am not amenable enough to treatment, I am hearing voices, feeling really scared about the Spies, seeing the Spies and not being able to leave the house. I know logically that I have illnesses, but I cannot seem to get around the voices and the Spies. Last weekend, I nearly went out to set myself on fire to save the world from Dictatorship. The voices / Spies / fears have been around for most of the academic year, to the point that I have no recollection of 50% of my lectures, and the ones I remember, I remember hearing the voices over the lecturer. So while all the other students were *revising* for exams, I was *teaching* myself the course.

The problem about uni is that I'm part-time already. So I'm not sure if they will let me repeat the year. My OCD and schizophrenia have got to the point where I cannot write coherent answers to questions in past papers, and the stress has affected my memory. I am thinking of asking the uni if I can repeat the year, but to keep the course at 6 years, I will do year 3 full-time.

What is your opinion on my situation?

[Steel Maiden]

My care co-ordinator recommended that I take a year out completely and retake exams in May 2014. As mental health issues take time to be improved.

[Taraxacum]

Taking a year out is a possibility, but would your mental health deteriorate without the academical side of life being an option?

Have you spoken to your university DSA?

[justapuppetonastring]

Taking your exams in 2014 sounds like a good option.

Dont worry yourself over this, there have been two people on my course redoing their second year and they dont have half the difficulties you have and are facing everyday.

Im really sorry to hear your finding things hard but it wont last forever. I'm glad you fought off the thoughts of setting yourself on fire.

[Steel Maiden]

Thank you both.

If I do take the year out, I will try to keep as active as possible, mentally and physically.

I just need to recover.

I'm trying my best not to end up in hospital.

I got an email back from disability services. They said I have to contact my university tutor, oh dear; he is not at all understanding about mental health and he will probably get angry with me.

[ferretmonster]

I was going to ask about taking time out, perhaps you would be better taking a year to focus on your health? I cant see a reason why you shouldnt be allowed to resit, you have extenuating circumstances I would think.

Whatever happens good luck.

[Steel Maiden]

^ thanks.

It would be good to focus on my health.

My psychiatrist has increased my Sertraline to 150mg.

However I had a severe migraine yesterday and this morning which stopped me from studying. Now I am depressed and my OCD is really hell. I'm on RYL to try and keep myself from giving up on life.

[ferretmonster]

Ignore yesterday, you were ill, its reasonable that you didn't study.

Its good that you are keeping your mind occupied.

[offlineforever]

If you find your tutor to be unhelpful is there any other tutor on your course who you could speak to?

I have to agree that a time out may be beneficial to you.

[Taraxacum]

Your DSA advisor should make themselves available to attend a meeting with your tutor if you feel this would help x

[Steel Maiden]

Thanks.

I will ask the disability adviser to help me with my not-very-understanding uni tutor. A meeting is inevitable so I will make sure that my support worker comes to speak up for me.

I keep obsessing that everyone IRL thinks I'm being stupid and irresponsible even though I've explained how severe the migraines are, and how my OCD / psychosis are affecting me so bad.

[bitomato]

At the end of the day, staying well- or as well as possible will have to take precedence over uni. ALthough you really never know how much info you have retained until you sit the exam, it is up to you if you want to defer.

It is important to have a good support team in place- and I always get the impression that you are really knowledgeable and have insight into your condition, which can make it frustrating sometimes to get support from others who perceive you differently.

Allow yourself to be well and not worry about pleasing your tutor or others. At the same time- don't be afraid to say- well maybe I actually have learned something....and can do the exam. But my experience- I struggled through university- not by choice have but because I didn't really have the option of deferring.

Hugs

[Steel Maiden]

Thanks. I tried some past papers but I couldn't write a coherent answer to the long answer questions. I know psychopharmacology well, but uni stuff (especially biochemistry) is not in my head well. The stress has temporarily messed up my memory.

I will not give up on life altogether. I just need a break to sort out my mental health.

[Diamonds.]

Hi sweetie,

I believe you should take a year out and give yourself a break. You're obviously over stressing yourself. I know personally, when I'm stressed my OCD is alot worse.

I hope you can get some help soon and calm your health down enough to succeed on Uni.

Take care.
Rebecca.
X

[Steel Maiden]

Hi Rebecca,

Thanks. I've typed an email to my university tutor and I'm going to get my advocate to proof read it, then I will send it (it's a request to take a year out).

My care coordinator thinks I'm entering a reactive depression because of how much distress my OCD and voices / Spies have / is putting me through. So I'm pretty much unable to do much, let alone study.

I'm still battling to get some people IRL to understand my reasons.

Is it possible that my uni could chuck me off the course because they think I'm not capable of doing it?

Thanks,
Olympia.

[sherlock holmes]

I think you should prioritise your health over your education and take some time out. Trying to sit exams whilst suffering from OCD/depression/schizophrenia may mean you perform badly whereas if you take time out to recover when you go back your grades might improve.

[Steel Maiden]

^ agreed.

Last night I nearly went out to the Common to end my life. Today I am trying to stay Logical. I cannot do the exams like this. The voices are there for several hours a day, making me even more mad.

My care coordinator says that I may need a medication review meeting.

I don't know what medications I can try, I've already tried seven different antipsychotics, and I'm on two atm.

[raspberry_swirl]

I don't have any answers for you but I just want to say I'm sorry that things are so tough for you at the moment.

[findingmyself]

Huggss im sorry. Sometimes meds just don't help. You have to be your own cheer leader sometimes. If you want something you are going to have to want it and work hard. I dont have schizophrenia but I have other mental issues and I know how hard it is to go to college but I push through it and try my best every day and don't give up even though its hard I have ocd re writing and re reading which makes school work hard so I understand. Your going to have to be strong and fight through it the best you can.

[Steel Maiden]

Thanks.

I need to sort my mental health and also my migraines are severe and chronic. I'm starting on a new medication for them, but they won't work in time for the exams.