Reviews Requested- Contains upsetting material - 'Bruising' a poem

[weightless]

My hands dropped and
fumbled, as we stumbled
under the clinical glow
of the streetlights.
Searching, searching, searching
for something, anything
to let the badness, the sadness
the stickiness, the nastiness
drain out and onto the concrete.
I counted and weighed and measured
the risks
told myself "I'm so sure of this."
But there was no smashed bottle,
cracked glass. So instead
I pressed my fingers, pressed
my teeth into my skin
let bruises bloom, fast.
I woke up confused. Who did this?
It was me.
It was me.

[Fiddlesticks]

I really like this, it's wonderfully written

[weightless]

thankyou so much! this is the first time i've shared my writing with anyone other than my boyfriend and a close friend, it's nice to get some positive feedback from people i dont know- of course criticism is welcome too haha!

[StillVacant]

very good poem. I'd only lose the word "clinical" for the light though as that's really clichéd and is not at all how streetlights are - they simply aren't bright enough to be clinical,though they are cold but that doesn't scan nicely - you could have "critical" instead to imply a sense of judgement which is echoed later in the poem with weighing up and questioning who did it. but the rest has great pace and confidence and is nicely done.

[nowhereman]

I like it, I think it explains the whole feelings behind wanting to self harm well. Also I love Cassie too <3

[weightless]

hey thanks, i'm going to change clinical! i've never been happy with that word but i couldnt think of anything that fits but critical is perfect :)

also thanks nikki <3 and i know aw isnt cassie just the prettiest