I'm back

[fragile as glass]

Perhaps this post is pointless.

I've spent a year on a section 3 in hospital and have been out 3 months. I now feel ready to come back to RYL for support and to support others.

I would like to be more involved with the vets forum but fear rejection as everyone seems to know each other and strangers seem to get noticed less.

Hence putting myself out here to say *I'm back!*

[Sefka]

Welcome back.

But I didn't know you the first time, so maybe it should just be 'hello.'

Hi

It's really great that you're looking to support others.

[fragile as glass]

Thanks.

I've been a member for 6 years and used to post regularly but not in vets (even though I'm old - 31!)

I used to be called 'fragile as glass' and before that 'set me free'

[Sefka]

Oh, I do remember Fragile as Glass. Name changes confuse me :)

[fragile as glass]

Not many people forget that name...actually I may write down I've had a name change in my signature!

[pb&banana]

I'm new but welcome back :)

[fragile as glass]

why thank you : )

You are very new! I've been hanging around 6 years!! I'm part of the wallpaper and was part of ryl in the Ruin days! I just have periods of time in hospital when im not about.

[pb&banana]

You are welcome :)
Part of the wallpaper :P aww, and ruin days? Have you been in hospital alot?

[Tig]

Welcome back lovely :) x

[fragile as glass]

Hello you! How you doing?

I was just looking at a PM from me and you last April 2 weeks into my IP stay and section! Geez I was ill, lol!

Good to see familiar faces! I changed my name back coz nobody knew who lonely tears (my old new name) was! x

[Stellata]

Welcome back. :)

[fragile as glass]

Hi familiar face again! x

[Tig]

Quote:

Originally Posted by fragile as glass

Hello you! How you doing?

I was just looking at a PM from me and you last April 2 weeks into my IP stay and section! Geez I was ill, lol!

Good to see familiar faces! I changed my name back coz nobody knew who lonely tears (my old new name) was! x

Glad you changed it back because don't think I would have known either!

Ah bless you, it can be so scary/weird looking back and realising how bad things were.

How are things now?x

[when.will.it.end]

Hey I remember you.

How you doing? x

[Revival]

Hi Liddy, welcome back! This is Ally (used to be melancholia) how are things going?

[fragile as glass]

They were supposed to have arranged aftercare for me starting 3 months before I left (and it's a year long program so they would know when that time came). They didn't and I came home to nothing. Locked ward and section 3 for a year, now on a section 117 and they have done nothing to support me since discharge.

Don't get me wrong, I learnt a lot of things in hospital and a lot of ''skills'' to help me cope and live in the 'real world'. I do try to use my skills and they do help sometimes but I equate it to swimming. I can't swim without floats and I feel they have given me no floats to use. I can kick and try and stay above water as much as I can (using my skills) but without the extra support (the floats) I get scared I'll drown again.

I use to self harm weekly before hospital but in my year in hospital I did it only four times (they required operations but thats by the by). Now however the rate and severity of self harm is creeping up. And I don't know what to do anymore.

If anyone is thinking of moving to Norfolk or Suffolk just don't. Seriously, don't. The PCT's are terrible, the mental health provisions are terrible, they have slashed 500 IP mental health beds over the past year. I know the whole country has its problems but seriously Norfolk and Suffolk win the title of the shoddiest care for mentally ill people in the UK.

*jumps off soapbox!*

I found out that if I had lived/stayed in London I would have got the funding to see my EMDR therapist at the hospital I was in as an out patient . Norfolk refused funding to see her.

Life's a bitch innit x
.

[secret squirrel]

I think it's appalling that you are not getting the help you need. It's amazing that you only self-harmed four times in a year and you deserve support as you obviously worked really hard and used the therapy well.

I would say move to London, as in some boroughs the services are quite good, but it's a bit drastic to move away from your home and friends and family.

[fragile as glass]

I wish but my home is here. I would never get a 2 bed, biggish back garden, reasonable front garden semi detached council property (mine is private housing association which is even better but I'm council supported) in London. I would get a postage stamp. I can't afford to buy my own property or else i would ship myself and my 2 rabbits and pussycat down tomorrow .

I deeply, bitterly miss my therapist. I was doing trauma work with her and we both (naively) thought we'd get the funding. Now I have to break it to her that I'll never see her again. Hell, I still have stuff of mine on the ward I was on, i was so sure of funding i was gonna pick it up when next going for therapy.

[Cacoethes]

just to say welcome back.
I remember you, i've changed my username a few times so i'm not sure if you remember me or not! xx

[fragile as glass]

Quote:

Originally Posted by pb&banana

You are welcome :)
Part of the wallpaper :P aww, and ruin days? Have you been in hospital alot?

Yes unfortunately. From the age of 15 years old to 23 years old straight with no discharge, just moved from place to place. 8 long years. Then I managed 2 years out in supported housing, then from the age of 25 to now (im 31 now) I've had 5 more admissions (in 6 years) I've been in 13 different hospitals/units, both adolescent/child and adult.

I dont think they will do any more for me - I think im a lost cause now tbh.

oh, well, theres worse off i guess.

and ruin days, yes. this site used to be called ruin your life, then they changed it to recover!! And use your imagination on the old logo, ha! Or am i mixing that up with the self harm network??!!