As some of you already know, from my previous thread about specialist hospitalization, it looks like I'll be going to the Maudsley Hospital that apparently specializes in severe BPD & severe self harm, which is what my CPN/OT is trying to find
- a specialist hospital for the above in particular,
I have quite a few other problems,
but he is looking for specialist hospitals particularly for the above problems.
He said this hospital seems to be the one I'll be admitted to, and will be there for approx a year, possibly more, perhaps less, but it sounds like it will be a year he said.
He said it may take 2-3 months for the funding, and I can choose not to do this between now and then, but this is pretty much a last ditch attempt for me regarding treatment.
Apparently I'm not well enough to do treatment in the community, and it could in fact make me worse, so this is kind of my only option at the moment.
I'm very frightened, and really, really scared.
I know I need help. I know that.
But the fact that I have to stay in hospital for a year makes me extremely terrified.
I'm wondering if anyone has either been to this hospital, or is currently there right now, and I was wondering if it's possible to know what it's like first hand from those who've been there/are there.
Thanking you muchly lovely.
I hope it will be.
I know if I do get funding for this, I'm very lucky.
But...I wonder why on earth they would spend so much money on me.
I feel I don't deserve it.
At all.
But thank you for keeping me in your thoughts, that means a lot.
x
Hi, I'm currently in a specialist inpatient unit for women with BPD and it's for a year. I've been here since the end of November. I've recently started the DBT programme.
When life gets you down do you know what you've gotta do?
Hi
I was an inpatient for a year at a specialist hospital for peeps with bpd/self harm/ptsd issues. had intensive psychotherapy.
It really helped get me out of a very place in my life (I'd spent virtually the whole previous 12 months on an acute locked ward and my self harm was out of control). Life wasn't perfect when I got out, you still gotta work hard but it was definitely worth the year of my life at the unit.
I was going to go to that hospital but ended up going somewhere else. But I only ever heard positive things about the place (from both patients and professionals)
i know a year sounds like a long time, but it really does go quite quickly if you really make use of all the help.
*hugs*
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I was going to go to that hospital but ended up going somewhere else. But I only ever heard positive things about the place (from both patients and professionals)
i know a year sounds like a long time, but it really does go quite quickly if you really make use of all the help.
*hugs*
^ this.
I'm a student nurse and have had lectures from professional and worked with patients who have been to the Cassels (specialist unit for PDs) and I have only heard positive things about the programme an similar programmes.
A year is actually a really short period of time if it means you can be recovered for the rest of your life.
A high percentage (50-70%) will leave intense programmes like this and no longer fulfil the criteria for a personality disorder.
Good luck. I really hope you get te funding because if is really worth it.
The average,
well-adjusted adult
gets up at 7.30am feeling just plain terrible.
Call me Kate.
I have dyslexia so please excuse my poor spelling and sometimes poor understanding.
I realise it's not inpatient, but I'll be starting a year of out patient treatment for BPD, it's one part of a course of four year therapy that I started about a year ago. I've not known anyone personally who has been there, but I've heard of it's high success rate with the treatment available there.
I hope you do get the funding, you are deserving of the money, just as anyone with any health problems (physical or mental) would be entitled to treatment. It's understandable to be frightened, it's a perfectly valid reaction to have. But I think it might be a really good idea to take the help if it's offered, because of the incredibly positive outcomes you could possibly have from it :)
Hey Sarah, I just wanted to say I think it's very brave of you to consider such a commitment, as I recognise how frightening and uncertain it can feel.
I spent a year in a specialist unit about five years ago. It was a positive, even if very hard work experience, and I did manage to reduce my self harm a lot and become better at communicating my needs. I also found that people seemed to do the best when they came from the point of view that it would neither cure everything, nor be pointless/worthless. So, somewhere in the middle. People who did well were prepared to work hard and really engage with the treatment (you have to want it to work, at least on some level, I think) but also accepted that they wouldn't/couldn't be perfect and that it's natural to make mistakes.
I'm really glad it helped! I know it can't cure me, but just maybe it will help me and maybe I can function better and be in a better place; that's my goal. :)
I know it takes a lot of commitment and you do have to want it, I just feel bad for how much it will be...feel like I don't deserve it at all.
Thankyou for your reply and encouragement and experience and thank you all of you for it too.
Means a lot.
x
hey sarah
im sorry to hear you struggling so much, remember to stay strong and you can do it x sending you hugs
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
In terms of cost/money, you shouldn't feel quilty. If you do go and it helps, in the long term it will/should be cost effective as you hopefully would need less input/less help from services and reduce the frequency/severity of your self harm which would mean less general hospital admissions too. I don't say that to sound cold or anything, just purely to have another view point on the cost of funding to try and make you feel less guilty...
The one thing they liked to reiterate at the cassel was that you get as much out of it as you put in.
I hope things go okay for you. Do you know when you will get to visit it or is it a case of getting funding for an assessment first?
Hope things go well!
sticks and stones may break your bones but words can tear your heart out.
In terms of cost/money, you shouldn't feel quilty. If you do go and it helps, in the long term it will/should be cost effective as you hopefully would need less input/less help from services and reduce the frequency/severity of your self harm which would mean less general hospital admissions too. I don't say that to sound cold or anything, just purely to have another view point on the cost of funding to try and make you feel less guilty...
!
^ this.
It will actually cheaper for you to go into the programme, work hard and get better than it will be for you to continue using services in the way you do for the next year.
So in a sense, by going there and doing well you will save the nhs and therefore money. Like said above, not to sound cold be it is the reality of the nhs specialist services such as this, So please please don't feel guilty.
Also you deserve to have that chance to get well, everyone dose.
By the sounds of things you are being very reasonable about your goals and you are aware that it will be hard work; lot of tears and emotional ups an down, but that will work in your favour. You are a perfect candidate for a programme like this.
Still keeping my fingers crossed that you get a place.
The average,
well-adjusted adult
gets up at 7.30am feeling just plain terrible.
Call me Kate.
I have dyslexia so please excuse my poor spelling and sometimes poor understanding.
Hm, I never thought of it that way! Kind of makes me feel a bit less guilty! Thank you guys.
Well, my CPN said that I will be able to visit the place before I get admitted, and I guess I assume that I will visit it if I do get the funding and a place? He did say about visiting it though before I go in and can ask as many questions as I want about the place.
So I assume that will happen if I get the funding for it and a place there?
Will ask next time I see him actually, because I don't know what would come first, whether I visit before funding assuming I get it, or visit after?
I hope you hear back soon. I guess part of the visit is making sure it's the right place for you, and that it will help, though I'm not sure if it would be before/after.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
Pretty sure the place you mean is the place I was in a few years ago, although it's changed location since.
What I'll say is that you really have to be ready to recover or it's a complete waste of time and money to go there. I wasn't ready and I really regret wasting such a good opportunity. It's not likely you'll get funded a second time so make sure you use your time there wisely!
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
I def. will use my time there wisely.
I intend to try my hardest and to be committed to the treatment.
I'm assuming, from the sounds of it, I'll be doing DBT in there?
It looks like they do DBT in there, and since I was denied to do DBT in the community
(reasons being, I'm too ill and it'd likely make me worse and I need to be in a therapeutic community and in hospital and blah blah),
so I'm assuming I'd be able to do DBT?
That's the one thing I've been desperate to do for ages.
It sounds perfect to me, and something I think would really benefit me.
But I was denied doing it, reasons being above.
But if I were to be in hospital, would I be able to do it then?
It looks like DBT is a common treatment there from the sounds of it?
I hope I'd be able to do it, I've been wanting to for so long and I think it could help me as well.
I really need to stop blabbering and asking questions you guys can't really answer and ask my CPN next Tues but it's a few days away and questions and worries and concerns and freak outs keep popping up and I guess I just...well,this is kind of scary!
