Specific Social Anxiety

SadEyes94 · 19-03-2013, 10:25 PM

I would never have described myself as an anxious person really... I suppose I view anxiety as people with panic attacks or little old ladies with nervous neurosis about 'silly' little things.

But I think I've come to realise that I have issues with anxiety in various areas:

performance anxiety - speaking in front of groups or in any scenario where I'm assessed (e.g. giving a graded powerpoint presentation at uni) - getting better but been a problem since I was a teenager
peer relations - I find it hard to 'click' with a lot of people my age, particularly in group situations; I'm preoccupied by thoughts that they won't like me or would rather be talking to or making friends with the other people there - and that once one person shuns me, all the others will see and follow suit - ? due to bullying in high school
living situations - I've lived with different housemates and often find myself hiding in my room so I don't have to see them; if this means not going to the kitchen for food until they've gone to bed, so be it - it's getting a bit out of hand

Does this sound like it could be social anxiety? I'm confused because in most one-to-one situations, or with people older or younger than myself I'm usually OK. I've always had a small group of friends and with them I'm completely relaxed. People usually describe me as confident and outgoing and most of the time I can introduce myself to strangers and get along with them... it's only certain situations that cause these obsessive negative thoughts and cause me to go into hiding.

What do you think? And what can I do about it?!

offlineforever · 19-03-2013, 10:35 PM

We can't really diagnose you. All I can say is that if you feel you need some help for this, get yourself to the Doctors and ask for some support.

SadEyes94 · 19-03-2013, 11:05 PM

Thanks for replying... I'm not looking for a diagnosis - I guess my overall question should be: is it possible to have situation-specific social anxiety, and does anyone else encounter anything similar? And if so, were you able to find anything that helped?

I don't want to rock up at my GP and have them tell me I'm just being daft and that no-one is completely comfortable in every situation.

Daenerys · 20-03-2013, 01:10 PM

I have anxiety disorders overlap with avoidant personality disorder, as I get stressed/anxious/panic attack/avoid over situations that cause me anxiety and not feeling able to escape.

I can relate to everything you say, but a lot of people can be affected by public speaking, you seem normal in that regard. In my opinion.

Relating to peer situations, if they are talking to you, you can assume that they like you especially if they speak to you regularly.

The situation I can definitely relate when I used to be in university, I couldn't doing any cooking in front of people, felt judged all the time. That would be definitely affecting your lifestyle.

It really depends how it affects your life, but really if you don't get help now it will get worse. So go see your GP, he will refer you to the right people - Best thing is CBT. :)

Eccentrics · 20-03-2013, 01:46 PM

Hey there,

It is completely possible to have situation-specific social anxiety, I'm pretty certain performance anxiety is a phobia of its own! Anxiety is completely different for everyone so if it causing you distress don't think that just because you don't act a certain a way your struggling is not justified. However, do keep in mind that everybody experiences a certain level of social anxiety, so it may be that you fall within normal levels. Personally I don't consider myself a shy, withdrawn person and I always try to be really open and friendly when meeting someone even if I'm nervous, but I'm still diagnosed with social phobia and really struggle with it in most situations.

If you think that your struggles are getting in the way of your life and you need to address them, do consider seeing your GP about it. As others have said nobody here can diagnose you and this may be social phobia or just normal levels of social anxiety. Either way your GP will be able to give you advice on what to do and refer you to the right people, whether that be therapy, counselling or medication. :) If you're finding things tough - you're finding things tough - and you deserve help for it.

Take care <3
- Holly

GambitC13 · 21-03-2013, 02:02 PM

I actually totally relate to your situation, I'm pretty much the same. I can be quite chatty and nosiy when I'm relaxed, but in certain social situations I get really anxious and withdraw completely. Groups and speaking in front of others are a particular problem. (Even in a group of friends) So I guess that is type of social anxiety, I assume it's like a spectrum? Although I'm afraid I can't really offer you any advice, you are not alone in this!

Aquifolia · 21-03-2013, 07:03 PM

Yeah, I can't really give you any advice on this because I've never been diagnosed, but you are definitely not alone. I used to wake up at 5am before anyone else got up to avoid running into people in the kitchen. People would always comment on how weird my food was and stuff and it drove me crazy.

Performance anxiety is not rare. I did a partner project one time and because the guy I was working with struck me and pretty outgoing, I tried to stick him with most of the speaking work because I was so nervous about it. He ended up just reading everything line by line because he was nervous about it too.

I don't see any reason you can't go to you're GP if you are having troubles. They're not just going to send you away, they're job is to help you.

SadEyes94 · 29-03-2013, 05:36 PM

Thank you all for the input! It's really reassuring to know that I'm not the only one who sneaks around my own house

and seems like a Jekyll/Hyde character around different groups of people!

I just discovered a section in my CBT book that addresses social anxiety, so I think I'll try to use that to re-frame the problem - like your suggestion Daenerys - if they're talking to me regularly then they probably think I'm OK!

I had to do a presentation the other day for uni (it was worrying about it that prompted me to start this thread), but it went surprisingly well. I practiced it lots and noticed when I was getting flustered, so took a deep breath and didn't panic. It was probably one of the best presentations I've given in years!! So I wonder if it's something I can learn to live with.

If things do get worse I will go to my GP... I just feel like I have enough diagnoses already; I really don't want another label unless it guarantees a treatment that will help. But I know CBT is a good option for a lot of anxiety disorders so if I can work on that on my own first then it seems like a good option. And I'm already on an SSRI for depression at the same dose as is given for anxiety, and don't really want to take any other medications if I can help it!

To be honest I think all I was looking for was some reassurance that I wasn't being pathetic and that it CAN affect people in weird/specific ways. Thank you :)

Lone Star · 31-03-2013, 06:47 AM

Actually, this may be more of a phobia than a disorder. It is said some people fear public speaking more than death.

I would personally think that you have a fear of public relations more than anything. It's somewhat common, but not something that's fixed with "meds". This would be something you would have to work on with a doctor. My personal advice would be to go to a psych or another expert that deals specifically with this type of phobia and see if they can offer any help.