i just want to end it all at the moment i just can not cope with her always saying how cr*p her life is how it is over that she wants to kill herself, i cant cope with it anymore it's getting to much for me, am i right in putting myself first for once??? if i am right then WHY do i feel so flipping guilty about it? i do care about her and i really do love her i have tried everything i accept her ED is a part of her, i have tried to support her with everything, but now it is just to much for me, i cant say anything to her in case she gets worse or runs out in front of traffic, she doesn't have many friends apart from people on the net, i have tried i really have to balance her mh stuff with mine but now it seems as if she is relaying on me to have all the answears it's almost as if she thinks i can snap my fingers and cure everything i really DO wish i could turn back time and stop certain things from happening, i wish i could take away ALL her pain and suffering
supposed to take her to her mhcpn today but i can not i can not handle it anymore i can not cope with her low self esteem of herself i wish she can see what i see, a loving caring beautiful wonderfull woman who is loved and liked by everyone who knows her
this is the hardest thing i have ever done i know i am doing right because if i go back to crazy tigger1066 then i cant help her, i know all this SO WHY do i feel guilty???????????
I think you are perfectly right to put yourself first. Your health is what you should be concentrating on. As you say, you can't flick a switch and make her better. She needs to rely on MH professionals and herself to do that.
It's understandable to feel guilty when you put yourself first; we often feel like we don't deserve it and that if we love the person we'll be there for them. What she should realise though is that if she loves you she'll allow you to work on getting yourself better. As you said, you can't help her if you're unwell as well.
It's not fair on you to be expected to balance her MH issues and your own. And she shouldn't be asking you to.
I think you do need to speak up about this; in a way that won't send her lower but explains that you need to work on yourself at the moment. Maybe you could have a meeting with her MH support worker, her and you to discuss it so if she does take it badly her MH support worker will be able to step in and help?
It sounds like you've been a great support to her but you need to put yourself first once in a while.
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
I agree with Mix Tape (sorry... don't know your real name).
I just wanted to tell you that my best friend and I are both mentally ill. We met in hospital and have been best friends since then. Some of the staff there thought that we are not good for each other, because our problems are very similar and so are our 'symptoms' (don't know a better word).
We thought about what the staff said and decided that we still want to be best friends.
Then we made some rules so our friendship could work in a way where we can rely on each other, but not in a way that the other one is getting worse. Basically it is only one rule:
We can ALWAYS call the other if we are having a bad day. We can ALWAYS say 'No, I'm not feeling well myself today. I can't support you today.'
We talked about this when we were both doing good and it is helping me loads to know I can say stop without feeling bad. Also: it is hard for me when she tells me that she can't help me on some days, but I know that she doesn't do it because she doesn't like me. She's doing it because she is struggling herself too much to help me.
I don't really know what I'm trying to tell you with that. Maybe that it really can help to talk about this.
You are right in putting yourself first, and I think the idea of a meeting with her support worker, her and you is great.
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
I agree with Mix Tape (sorry... don't know your real name).
I just wanted to tell you that my best friend and I are both mentally ill. We met in hospital and have been best friends since then. Some of the staff there thought that we are not good for each other, because our problems are very similar and so are our 'symptoms' (don't know a better word).
We thought about what the staff said and decided that we still want to be best friends.
Then we made some rules so our friendship could work in a way where we can rely on each other, but not in a way that the other one is getting worse. Basically it is only one rule:
We can ALWAYS call the other if we are having a bad day. We can ALWAYS say 'No, I'm not feeling well myself today. I can't support you today.'
We talked about this when we were both doing good and it is helping me loads to know I can say stop without feeling bad. Also: it is hard for me when she tells me that she can't help me on some days, but I know that she doesn't do it because she doesn't like me. She's doing it because she is struggling herself too much to help me.
.
thats the best idea i have heard Laura i think i will surgest it to her and then lest i wont feel guilty when i can not help her
didnt work talaiporia she came round yesterday and i kept trying to get her to change the subject but 10 mins later it was back to the same old stuff, it didnt help matters that she told me about 7ish last night that she had od'd on the way to mine
i GET that she is scared of going into hospital but end of the day why tell the MH people that you are rescriting or od'ing if you are only going to BS your way out of it??
am at my wits end now from now on she can just do whatever say whatever and i wont reply i do guenly give up now dont careles anymore
i had a ex that in the end i realized i was on the verge of committing suicide because of the stress he put me through, it was selfish of him as a bf, and it took a stern talking to from my brother as i was walking to my destination to make my purchase to convince me to not end it. to be honest it was a very hard decision, it was winter time and the constant depressed buzz coming from him stressed me out soooooo baaaaaaad. eventually i cut him out of my life, he threatened to kill himself that night when i broke up with him, called me on my way to work the next morning with some story and was high as a kite. let me tell you one thing, leaving him was one of the best things i ever did do because he was so selfish he would not listen to a word i said support wise anyways so why waste my breath when he didn't support me?
Hi,
I don't want to tell you what to do, but here is what I would do.
If I couldn't talk to a friend because she wouldn't listen, then I would write a letter to her. In that letter I would write all the things that I want to tell her, but I would try very hard to find the right words so I don't hurt her and she can't misinterpret things. I would probably try to explain to her that I like her a lot and love her as a friend, but that (insert what bothers you) is making it hard to cope for me.
Just a suggestion.
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
