X

Ballerina123 · 21-02-2013, 06:50 PM

I can hear voices telling me that I need to stop taking my meds because they will kill me! I don't want to die......

[Luna] · 21-02-2013, 06:58 PM

Hey,
You need to take your meds. The voices are lying to you and they cannot hurt because at the end of the day they are just voices. Voices can't physically touch you. Your meds will help get rid of the voices (which is probably why they want you to stop taking them).

Is there anyone you can talk to about what the voices are saying?
Thinking of you xx

Ballerina123 · 21-02-2013, 09:18 PM

My heart is beating fast and I'm getting chest pain. my ECG is all messed up. It because of my meds.
I can't keep putting my heart under all this strain.
The doctor never gets back to me. He is doing it on purpose because he knows it harming me.
I need get off these meds before the damage is irriverable or worse my heart stops..

Im just too frightened to take them.

[Luna] · 21-02-2013, 09:25 PM

If that is the case then coming off your meds cold turkey could also cause damage. It's best to do it under the supervision of a medical professional.

Aubergine · 21-02-2013, 09:26 PM

I had a screwed up ECG because of meds once. I was told to keep taking them though, because the risk posed by dodgy heart rhythm was less than the risk posed if I stopped taking them and became ill again. They changed my meds to something else that didn't have the same effect on my heart, but it had to be done in a controlled manner to prevent relapse.

Your doctor won't be doing things on purpose. Could you ask someone in EI to contact him for you? Sometimes they're better at getting back to each other.

Keep talking if it's helping. It's hard, but try to combat the voices - they're not helpful and listening to them will only lead to negativity.

*hug*

Pi.R^2 · 22-02-2013, 12:27 PM

Hey love, what medications are you on at the moment? What makes you think it is the medication causing the ECG issue? Did the person who explained the results of the ECG to you make any comments on what might be causing strain on your heart.

Please try to remember that you've been put on those medications by trained medical professionals who have your best interests at heart. They wouldn't put you on something if they thought it posed a considerable risk to your health.

Take care lovely.

Ballerina123 · 23-02-2013, 01:17 AM

Jenna - on Monday my psych told me I had an abnormality on my ECG cause by my meds.

Totally scary day. I knew the voices were right.

I was in the library and it was around 3pm. I notice there was a voice message on my phone. Step outside to listen to it an it was a psychiatrist from my team saying "Kate when you get this message you need to call us straight away! It is about your heart, we need to speak to you ASAP. It's really important!"
So I called them back and the guy was like "we need you to come to the hospital NOW! We have to take you off your meds because your test result are quite bad. We spoke to the cardiologist and it has to be today"

Anyway cutting a long story short; the meds that I was scared of are basically really messing the rhythm of my heart up and it's "borderline serious" what ever that means. The psych told me that I am to stop my meds cold turkey because it's not safe to stay on them a day longer.
I am to call the HTT or go straight to A&E over the weekend if I have either any psych symptoms or any chest pain or dizziness. But HTT will check in with me periodically.
An emergency referal has been made at the heart hospital for me.

I have also been told to not exercise or do anything that could raid my heart rate.

I knew the voices were right! Good job I listened.

I feel like I am so scared to do anything incase my heart stops. Like I walked quickly up a flight of stairs on the tube earlier and I felt my heart beat a bit faster and then totally panicked.

Ballerina123 · 23-02-2013, 03:35 AM

There is something wrong with my blood now.

Psych med are produced by the devil!
It's evil black magic!

talaiporia · 23-02-2013, 07:16 PM

Kate, is there anyone you can call right now? I do think taking your meds is a good idea, but if not, you really ought to tell someone about the black magic. Do you have an out of hours number you can call? I really hope you're safe.

Pi.R^2 · 24-02-2013, 12:33 PM

Oh gosh, that sounds scary love. How are you now? Does boyfriend-with-an-excellent-name know what's going on? Is he taking good care of you?

Thinking of you lovely.

Ballerina123 · 25-02-2013, 03:38 PM

Thanks.
Yeay my bf know what is going on.

It hard being off meds.
This weekend was a horrid mixture of psychotic symptoms and physical withdrawal. Horrible!
I'm not coping well but my team are aware and are seeing me most days this week to review my symptoms and new meds.
I may take some time off Uni to rest my mind. I just really want to stay out of the hospital this time round.

Pi.R^2 · 25-02-2013, 08:43 PM

*hugs*
I'm glad your team are keeping a watchful eye. Keep talking to them and being honest, and hopefully that will be enough to get you through this patch without the need for hospital. Are they trying you on new meds then?

Ballerina123 · 25-02-2013, 10:04 PM

Thanks jenna, i apppiciate your support.
I'm seeing the doctor about new meds tomorrow.

Ballerina123 · 27-02-2013, 12:51 PM

Just a update.

Things are going a lot better.
I spoke to my psych on the phone this morning and because of the nature of my heart condition it has been advised by the cardiologist and pharmacy at the psych hospital that I stay off all anti psychotic medication until I have been reviewed by the cardiology consultant in his clinic next week and had all the heart tests done. This is fine by me because I have just got over the withdrawal of coming off the quietapine, I really was not in the mood for experimenting with new anti psychotics and all the side effects that comes along with.

The consultant said that it will take a week or 2 for the quietapine to fully leave my system so in a sense I am not at great risk of having a sudden psychotic breakdown however a bunch of benzos have been prescribed should I start to feel mentally unwell.
We both agreed that the psychotic symptoms I experienced over the weekend were more to do with the stress of physical withdrawal and anxiety over my ECG results. Now those stressed have passed I have been feeling pretty stable so Im not as worried.
I am however scared about what the cardiologist is going to say. I dont like having physical illness, it makes me feel really out of control.