Is this a concern?

[Joshhhhh]

Hello. My name is Josh as some of you could have guessed, I'm from the Uk and new to RYL. (Well, I've known about it for some time now but only just created an account)

Around half a year ago I had suffered from depression, suicidal thoughts and anxiety mainly caused from school pressure, and I took myself to the schools Child protection officer as I didn't like how I was feeling. They referred me to my local GP which they then referred me to a place called CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service) I was then seeing a Psychologist for around 6 months and I stopped seeing him around a month ago. Towards the end of seeing him I had wanted to move to my Fathers as I didn't feel close to my mother, I never spoke to her or did anything with the family. You could say that I hate my little brother with a passion. (I won't say why) And obviously this was and is a hard time for her with me moving out. But I've kinda realised the truth about her and how she really is. And how horrible she is (I'd rather not go into detail) And She asked me if I wanted to go around for tea next week on Monday. I've been going every week or two and I don't really like going there as it's awkward and I don't really care. But although this is kinda contradicting myself here, I only go because I don't want her to feel bad or worse? I'm always putting others feelings first and always have done, I've always been the caring sort of person. But over the past 2 days I've felt slightly low again and I don't know why? I don't really want to go to my mothers but I feel I have to in order to keep her happy and not to make her upset about this even though I don't really like her as I've realised what she's really like.
Please help me?

Thank you xxx

PS: Anyone know what tests are taken place for Aspergers Syndrome? I'm on a waiting list for that?

[Snow White.]

Hi Josh,

Maybe you could try skipping going to your mothers this week and see how you feel? Sounds like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself to go and to 'keep the peace', make her happy etc. I suppose I don't have the full story, such as the reasons why you don't get on with her, but it sounds to me if you think being away from her for your mental health is important it is worth a trial. You'd have to figure out though if you could sit with the feelings afterwards, especially if she tries to guilt you. But remember; you deserve to put yourself first.

Ultimately, it is up to you and how you feel, but I would say it is time to put yourself first and look after your mental health, you deserve that.

Sorry I can't help you with your second question, but I know there are many members here was Aspergers Syndrome who will hopefully see this thread. There's a thread for it too if you want to jump in there, maybe skip to the last few pages, and have a chat about it: Autisim Spectrum Thread

Welcome to the site, take care

[Patent Pending]

I agree with Snow White.; maybe it'd be an idea to take this week to concentrate on you and your mental health. Let your mum know that you will go back when you're feeling better but right now you need to look after yourself?

One thing I've learnt over the years is that it's important for you to put yourself first sometimes. You can't please everyone all the time without it impacting negatively on your health.

Welcome to RYL; I hope you find it helpful.

x x x