"You don't deserve to have such pain"

[CosetteDaae]

Lately several people have said this to me, and I unfortunately agree. I say unfortunately because while they mean to say, "You deserve to be happy", I feel that I don't deserve to suffer because I have no right to my grief and my emotions. I do not deserve the relief of pain that comes with tears. I do not deserve the comfort of friends. I don't deserve to be emotional in front of them because I've never really been through anything to warrant it. I've never been raped, nor have I been genuinely abused (I once had a mentor tell me repeatedly that I was worthless but it doesn't really count). I haven't even had a death of someone close. My former mentor's father died and *I* seem to be taking it harder than HE did.

I want to cry and often my voice sounds like I'm on the edge of tears but I can never truly cry. I don't deserve to be in pain. I have no reason to. I'm just an overemotional nobody.

I'm horrible. I'm selfish. I'm self-absorbed. I'm melodramatic. I suck. I shouldn't be in pain because nothing has happened to me. Other people need help more than me.

[Cacoethes]

People react to things in different ways.

For example, I have a history of abuse etc, but it doesn't bother me and it's not the root of my problems. But things like that affect other people in a totally different way and might be the cause of their problems.

I always say that it doesn't matter why you feel how you do, if you're feeling so low and feel the need to self harm, then that's completely valid and is worth helping. Whatever the reason.

[CosetteDaae]

Thank you <3

[Eccentrics]

Hello there,

Just because someone else may have it worse in one situation, does not in any way make your struggles less valid. <3 Everyone has completely different life experiences, things that upset them and things they struggle with. You may have it better in one way than another, but they may also have it better than you in another way. For example: you have a chocolate bar, see someone without one and think "I have no right to complain, I have a chocolate bar!" But at the same time that person may, unbeknownst to you, live in a big pink palace whereas you live in a shed. It's all down to personal experience and if you're in pain - you're in pain! You can't fabricate these emotions in any way therefore if you are feeling them, your mind is having a response to some hard/upsetting problem and you do deserve to be helped. :)

Do you have anyone you can talk about these feelings to?

Take care.
- Holly <3

[CosetteDaae]

Fortunately yes. I have a lot of good selfless people who care. Thank you for the support