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Borderline Personality Disorder
So, in my stay at the hospital a while ago, I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. However, I've looked into it, and though I do agree that I do probably have bpd, I'm wondering if maybe there is something else underlying too? Or maybe it's just a part of bpd that I havent found in my readings about it.
I easily relate to many symptoms of borderline personality disorder; dislike for myself, emotionally unstable, self harm (obviously) suicidal tendancy and attempts, so on.
But I also have a feeling of distinct and separate personalities living in my mind together. There are three that I've identified, and Ive spent a great deal of time working on identifying them and telling which from which. One is logical, realistic, more into politics and is more intelligent. very good humored and sarcastic. Interested in learning. Depressed on a different level, on a 'the world is a terrible place' level.
another is self destructive and angry, bitter and selfish. Bullies me and the other two personalities, is sarcastically cruel and insults people. Sexually promiscuous. Kind of stupid. loves conflict.
Another is hyper sensitive, childish. Quiet and afraid of conflict, pushover. Scared of sexuality. Always depressed. Depressed on a personal level. Is the main target of my 'second personalities' self bullying.
Am I just personifying emotions and blowing them out of proportion? (as some people have suggested to me). Is this something that is normal to people with BPD or is this something that may be lying on top of that?
Ive used a few different sites for information and found that overall, i can relate best to BPD.
Borderline, or Emotionally Unstable
-impulsive
-find it hard to control your emotions
-feel bad about yourself
-often self-harm, e.g. cutting yourself or making suicide attempts
-feel 'empty’
-make relationships quickly, but easily lose them
-can feel paranoid or depressed
-when stressed, may hear noises or voices
When in my third personality, I relate to dependant personality disorder
Dependent
-passive
-rely on others to make their own decisions
-do what other people want you to do
-find it hard to cope with daily chores
-feel hopeless and incompetent
-easily feel abandoned by others
When in my second personality, I relate to Histrionic Personality Disorder.
Histrionic
-over-dramatise events
-self-centered
-have strong emotions which change quickly and don't last long
-can be suggestible
-worry a lot about your appearance
-crave new things and excitement
-can be seductive
I feel like a giant jumble of all three of these. Is that even possible? Am I being over dramatic? Am I just making this **** up in my mind? I dont know... I shouldnt be trying to self diagnose, but I want to know the possibilities to bring them up to my counselor/doctor so they can give me their input.
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