Please discuss and share experiences; I doubt I'm alone on this.
I work at the cigarette kiosk at a supermarket. Had a pretty horrible experience yesterday. A woman came up to the desk with 3 teenage daughters. Asked for a brand of tobacco that we didn't have. She then asked one of the girls 'which tobacco -insert name here- would have instead', so I said I wouldn't be able to sell her anything without seeing the girls' IDs because legally I can't unless I am certain the product is for someone of age. She wasn't happy,called me a sad pathetic jobsworth amongst other things and demanded my name and managers details.
Typing it out, it doesn't sound that bad... But I feel awful. Her choice of the word 'pathetic' I think resonates because it plays a massive part in my own self critical inner monologue, and was frequently used by the bullies all those years ago. And I'm scared that I'll get in trouble... Or that it'll keep happening (that's two shifts in a row that have ended in tears now...)
I haven't had someone ask for my manager's name or mine, but I have plenty of days where customers at my old job (or even other workers) has made me cry, a lot. So you definitely are not alone involving this. As for your situation, I think you did what you were supposed to do and if that gets you in trouble or loses your job than I personally believe that it's not your fault.
When I worked in retail I had a customer who wanted my name and head office details so she could complain about me - but like you I was following company procedure and she didn't like it, and I didn't ever hear any more about it.
You did the right thing and you did your job well so you shouldn't get into trouble for it. I can well understand your getting upset about it though, it can be difficult not to take things personally when customers kick off x
Hi there,
I'm sorry this happened and it upset you, the trouble with working with customers is that some of them can be unpleasant and hurtful. I recently had a customer who seemed to think that it was my fault that a local shop had closed down. The fact that it closed down in the 70's, before I was even born, didn't make a difference to her.
People tend to be more unpleasant when they know you are "forced" to be amiable and helpful to them, probably because there is little ramification for their actions. You did nothing wrong in this situation and shouldn't feel worried that you shall get in trouble. You followed the law and company policy, this woman was just pissed that she wasn't getting her way. People use the threat of managers because they think it may scare people into doing what they want. I am a somewhat unauthorized manager in one of my jobs (the main manager is rarely there and I'm the only full-time member who knows what's going on) and the girls there always get me to go over if there is a complaint. 99% of the time they have done nothing wrong, there has been a miscommunication and/or the customer is getting arsey at someone who they think has to take their bad mood with a smile.
Have you been in this job long? Sadly, there's nothing preventing unpleasant and rude customers coming in and you having to deal with them. I tend to try to stay calm and polite in situations like this and reiterate the law and company policy (which you did here.) If they start insulting you or being unnecessarily rude, I generally point this out to them in a direct yet still polite manner, eg: "I'm sorry that you are unhappy with this situation sir/madam and I will try to resolve it to the best of my abilities, however there is no need for you to speak to me in this manner."
This doesn't work 100% of the time of course, and the main thing you need to remember is that you always have the ability to walk away and get someone else. Customers like to think that you have to stand there and take abuse from them, but you don't. If they are upsetting you, you have every right to walk away and get someone else to deal with them, just simply say "I'm sorry we cannot resolve this, let me get one of my colleagues/manager who will be able to help you."
Try to remember that these people are not angry at you personally, and the things they say are often out of frustration. They do not know you and their words are petty gropes at regaining power over you. It's difficult to let some things go and I hope you have some more pleasant shifts from now on. Perhaps you could speak to your manager about how they feel you should best deal with customers like this? Knowing it is advice from someone in your company may give you a bit more confidence about how to deal with these people.
I hope you are feeling better
You see a mouse trap
I see free cheese
And a ****ing challenge
I no longer really work on "the front line" as it were with dealing with tricky customers, but I was a delivery girl for a while dropping off sandwiches etc for people's dinner. Often I was late due to traffic, or the shop being busy or a million other reasons. Sometimes something had been missed off the order or the price added up wrong or all sorts none of which were my fault, but as I was the one stood in front of them I was the one to blame!
I ended up in tears once or twice but I was lucky that my boss was a very close friend and would rather lose the customer than have me upset!!
Over time I learnt to develop a thick skin. The person with the problem doesn't know you, and so it isn't personal. So try not to take anything they say to heart. The best response I have found is to just try and be as friendly and polite as possible. People hate this when they are angry as it often makes them look stupid!
Talk over the events afterwards with your colleagues and friends and you will see that most of the time their anger wasn't your fault and wasn't really directed at you, it's directed at the company.
You were following policy so you have nothing to be worried about.
That whole exchange (like most experiences with less-than-pleasant customers) reflect more on who they are as a person than yourself. You are not at all pathetic for following your job and what you were supposed to do in a polite manner.
A mother with children in tow who was clearly buying cigarettes for someone, probably underaged judging by her defensiveness, who felt the need to call you pathetic is, instead, the pathetic one.
Ranting about these experiences always helps me - so many share terrible experiences. I hope you feel better soon. I think it gts easier to deal with as you continue to work with customers. I know I got to the point where I would smile politely, say very little, and pretend they weren't bothering me because that often upsets them more and they leave. Then I just laugh at them in my head when they are gone. Sometimes they just want a reaction. (I have in the past defended myself but that is like arguing with a wall in most occasions).
The best response I have found is to just try and be as friendly and polite as possible. People hate this when they are angry as it often makes them look stupid!
Yes sorry Amy, didn't realise you'd already said something similar to me. Great Amy's think alike ;)
I really do think it is the best advice though, especially as otherwise things might escalate to a point where you can say things that get you into trouble, and just increase your frustrations too.
I just want to say I sympathise, I work part time on checkouts and had some rude (one bordering on sexual harassment) customers. I don't have much advice but you were totally in the right. Some people don't get this having to be the right age/have ID thing *rolls eyes* I hope you're okay, feel free to PM if you wanna talk about anything xx
You can't lose hope when it's hopeless.
You gotta hope more,
then put your fingers in your ears and go,
"Blah blah blah blah!"
Customers who are less than pleasant can really ruin your day! I remember being on my first Sunday shift at the garage a couple of weeks ago and a customer called me stupid because I didn't know something. I was fairly new and it did upset me - well, it upset me until I told a colleague who proclaimed that the customer was, in fact, stupid and not me! I also had a customer write a complaint that I was a 'nasty piece of work'. I'm not even joking. That hurt.
Customers suck - well, some of them do. The difficulty with ID is that they can get very angry if they don't have it. I just go incredibly calm and controlled, explain that if they don't show ID and I sell them the product, I could end up with an £80 fine. If I don't serve them, that's their problem, not mine. I once refused a sale to a lady who was 36 because I worked on a univeristy campus and pretty much ID'd everyone. She was not amused but didn't have much choice.
I don't have much advice other than stay calm, don't let them know you're upset and talk to your colleagues. Talking to others who work there can help because you really aren't the only one who's had to deal with rude, aggressive customers. I've spoken to colleagues and ended up simply laughing about the whole thing. It can lighten your mood.
A random tip; be incredibly/overly nice to them. It annoys them profusely but they can't shout at you really because you're being super nice ;). I've done that before to wind people up when they've been nasty to me.
In terms of getting through the day when dealing with people, I focus upon the nice customers. As well as all the bad times I've had which will stick in my mind, I have had customers tell me that I will go far because I'm lovely and who I've had the best conversations with about absolutely anything. An elderly lady once said that she liked me as a cashier because I spoke to her and smiled and that I was the only person she spoke to all day. That literally made my shift more worthwhile and I try to think that the customers have more going on in their lives and sometimes that impacts upon how they are with us as staff. That's not your problem, it's theirs and it's important to not let it get you down and to think rationally.
Aye, I can only echo the great advice given above.
As makedamnsure said over time you'll begin to develope a thick skin to it. The general public can be true c*nts sometimes but as long as you're following the procedure correctly then hand over your details happily. Think of it this way; when they get home and write their complaint letter they're only going to get a "well yes. That is our proccedure moron" response.
I've had some awful expirences over the years and it only gets worse the futher you go up. I've had people damn well lie about me to head office so they can try and get a free meal. I've also told a few people to change their attitude or they won't be continuting their meal.
Just remember though, like the NHS & national rail, you are free to work without fear of abuse or harassment. So if someone is making you feel bad you can say "I'm sorry Sir/Madam I'll get my manager and security you are intimadating me and I don't have to tolerate it".
Don't take these people's ****. They're like monkeys trying to fling their poo around and cover everyone in their ****.
Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici.
By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.
Please discuss and share experiences; I doubt I'm alone on this.
I work at the cigarette kiosk at a supermarket. Had a pretty horrible experience yesterday. A woman came up to the desk with 3 teenage daughters. Asked for a brand of tobacco that we didn't have. She then asked one of the girls 'which tobacco -insert name here- would have instead', so I said I wouldn't be able to sell her anything without seeing the girls' IDs because legally I can't unless I am certain the product is for someone of age. She wasn't happy,called me a sad pathetic jobsworth amongst other things and demanded my name and managers details.
Typing it out, it doesn't sound that bad... But I feel awful. Her choice of the word 'pathetic' I think resonates because it plays a massive part in my own self critical inner monologue, and was frequently used by the bullies all those years ago. And I'm scared that I'll get in trouble... Or that it'll keep happening (that's two shifts in a row that have ended in tears now...)
Hey there, I completely sympathise. I work in a bar and ID'ing people can sometimes have a completely unexpected effect. I've had people round on me for it, have a go at people at the bar just for sitting there with an alcoholic drink (my boyfriend included) when I wouldn't serve them.
You were completely in the right, if you had sold the woman the tobacco with the girls around, and your boss had seen, you would have gotten into trouble. You behaved completely appropriately and did the right thing :)
And just remember, if its that big a deal to them - they can always go and get their ID to prove that their 18+! People tend to get arsey when they can't prove their age, which is their problem, not yours :)
Hope your feeling better
We’ve got obsessions
I want to erase every nasty thought that bugs me every day of every week
We’ve got obsessions
You never tell me what it is that makes you strong and what it is that makes you weak.
I work at a major high street fashion store and the amount of disgusting customers baffles me! Most of them have such poor attitudes, you wonder if they were brought up or dragged up!
Just to offer some support. You were doing your job and if she contacts your manager he will confirm that. I would bet the customer knows that as well, I think sometimes when people are in the wrong they take the frustration out on the assistant. I always found at work that the customers that were most angry were the ones who hadnt done something right (eg hadnt ordered correctly) and were just covering.She was probably hoping that you would serve her if she made enough fuss but you were right not to.
Sometimes people forget that shop workers are people too!
I get this quite a fair bit at work sometimes, most of the time people are lovely but we do get the rude customer(s) - (I work at a large department store in England).
This best piece of advice I can give you is don't take it personally - they could have just been having a bad day and taken it out on you. Just don't let it get to you, people will more often that not take their fustrations/annoyance out on someone who works for the company at the present time because of their mood - it isn't a reflection on you as a person or employee. You were doing your job and following the law, so you have done nothing wrong, if everything was above board and the mother was buying the cigerettes for herself then she should have had no problem complying and showing you ID, the fact she got rude and defensive, could be a sign that she was buying for underage girls (she might not have been - but it's usually something like that when people kick off for no reason).
DILLIGAF
"it’s when you’re acting selflessly, that you are at your bravest"
- Four.
♥
Wow, thank you so much for your kind words and hugs
I think I just needed a bit of reassurance. I guess I know I did the right thing, but I think I am quite sensitive anyway and avoid confrontation and anger at all costs. I can usually deal with it because I've worked there 2 years... But there was 4 of them and one of me, and the next customer in queue sided with them, which doesn't usually happen.
Sorry that you've had icky customers too- makes you wonder how society functions sometimes -_-
and the next customer in queue sided with them, which doesn't usually happen.
None of their business & its not them that would have gotten into trouble had those people been served. Again, as long as your polite with a nice big smile on your face then feel free to point that out to them.
Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici.
By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.
Hey sorry ive only just seen this.i just wanted to add my support for you and say i totally agree with what you did and what others have said to you in this thread.In my eyes you did totally the right thing.The situaton must have made you feel horrible though and i really feel for you.
As for my own experiences well a few months ago i started a job of which part of is chasing debt on the behalf of local councils over the phone.ive not had anyone swear or anything but ive had a few agitated customers, one guy who put the phone down a bit quickly rather than let us continue talking to try and resolve things and a few inpatient customers cos i am quite slow as i am still learning my role and the computer system so i can really sympathise!
i hope it doesnt put you off your job too much and that you can feel at least a little better now especially hopefully having really been re-assured [though i hope deep down you knew anyway] that you really have done nothing wrong.
Keep up the good work!
xx xx
i do not always manage to be around but i wish you all the very best - love and luck to you all!
I don't really have any new advice, I can only echo what other people have said but it definitely helps a lot to focus on the nice customers, and also remember that it's nothing to do with you, they're usually just assholes and/or taking out their frustration on you.
I also want to say thank you to Multi-Snarf as your advice helped me feel a lot better.
I work as a waitress, and we have people who will reserve our banquet room to have parties or meetings, etc. Well one day, I was the only waitress working and this couple came in and asked if they could use the banquet room and said they had a few more people coming. They hadn't reserved it (if they had there would have been more than just me working), but since no one else had reserved it either I told them yes, it was fine, thinking they would have like fifteen people or so, but instead they had at least fourty people, and they had each like family/individual order and pay for their own food. All this was going on while I still had a bunch of other customers in the dining room that i needed to serve as well. Well instead of being understanding about the situation the guy who's child's birthday it was was just a complete jerk to me. I have social anxiety but I always try to get over that when I'm working and pretend I'm someone else and just be as friendly as I can to every customer. Well pretty much everyone from the party had left and I went to start cleaning up since I had to have the room clean before I could go home. When I walked in the guy was like "I started stacking the dishes over there to make things easier for you" And I was like "oh, thanks" and he was like "or maybe I should try to have you fired since I didn't like your service and neither did my friends" I was like completely stunned and didn't know what to say, I thought he might be joking, so I just didn't say anything and grabbed some dishes and started to leave and he stopped me and was like "I want to talk to your manager" So I went in the kitchen and got my manager and while they were talking i seriously just sat in the back with all the dishes and just bawled my eyes out, trying to be as quiet as possible though.
Of course my manager was super nice to me about it and told me that i wasn't in any trouble or anything, and told me that the guy wasn't even making any sense and he kept saying "no the service was good, but..." and then would proceed to complain about how i didn't have social skills or i wasn't friendly enough or something like that and my manager's all like, you don't have to worry because I know you're always really friendly and nice to everyone just make sure to always have your fake smile on, that guy was just probably frustrated with having all his family and just wanted to take it out on you.
Although my manager really made me feel better about it, I still get upset when I think about it because I know I lack social skills since I have social anxiety and it's been extremely hard for me working as a waitress where I have to interact with people every day, but I thought I was doing really good and it just brought me down a lot. :/
Whatever it is, you can get through it. I promise.
Although my manager really made me feel better about it, I still get upset when I think about it because I know I lack social skills since I have social anxiety and it's been extremely hard for me working as a waitress where I have to interact with people every day, but I thought I was doing really good and it just brought me down a lot. :/
Oh Sweetie. Please, please, please try to let it go. Being in hospitality I can completely emphasise and to be frank, if you were the only waitress on the floor tending to a party of 40 AND the dining room you wouldn't have been able to give 5 star amazing service where you talk to every customer and entertain people. Also to be fair, if it had been me and he'd rocked up with 40 people demanding the banquet room he'd have been told to **** off and come back when he'd made a proper booking. There's a reason places have a bookings diary. If it was a birthday party, I can tell you for a fact he either a) wanted some kinder free booze or desserts. b) wanted some kinder discount as lets face it, the bill for 40 people isn't cheap.
I don't know what it is with people being douches in restaurants. Come on folks, be nice, you're talking **** to the people who deal with your FOOD.
Going back a few years now when I first started out as a brand new team member still getting over my problems and very scared of confrontation and the rest of it I had some awful customers and I ended up hiding down the side of the fridges, bawling my eyes out. My sous chef came in and found me. Picked me up, gave me a massive hug and gave me the best work place advice I have ever gotten;
"There are a million ways of telling someone to **** off. Especially if you add a smile"
Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici.
By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.
The best advice I can give is to not reflect on it or them. Let it wash over you. I've had numerous encounters with rude and/or stupid people, and I just don't care anymore.
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