I need some advice re my son

[Kathryn_Anna]

I need some advice. I'm just heartbroken right now.

So I'm upstairs doing some cleaning and stuff when I heard Lucas (my 5 year old) tell hubby downstairs something about "being a loser because I work slow." I immediately ran downstairs and asked if I heard what I thought I heard. Apparently some of the kids in his class are calling him a loser because he works slower than they do. We emailed his teacher asking her about this hoping she can shed some light on things. I know at 5 you can't always believe what a child says (they can easily misinterpret things) but I don't want to take any chances.

Ugh. Why do kids have to be so mean? I know Luke has a slower work pace and he is highly sensitive to things but he is on par or above academically. I just don't know what to do. Should we have him evaluated? WWYD?

Any advice?

[squirrelspit]

I dont really have any advice as my son is only 6 months old so ive not faced that kind of thing myself yet, but, i completely understand why youre upset

My other half and i were talking about what we would do if Oliver got picked on at school and it made me upset just thinking about kids being mean to him.

Good call on emailing the teacher i think. It means that they will be paying close attention.

[griddlebone]

Hi,

I dont think you need to get him tested for anything, 5 is still pretty young and some kids are just slower than others, not necessarily a bad thing! Good job emailing the teacher, it can be difficult to catch those things when youre working with a big class so its good to make the class teacher aware.

I would talk to your son about how it can be a good thing to work at a slower pace because it probably means he is being more careful about his work. Let him know that being the fastest to finish work doesn't mean its the best work.I would also just reassure him that he isnt a loser and that some kids can be mean to other kids for not much reason. (You can use an example of maybe when he has felt like being mean to someone so he can relate.)

If it continues then I would arrange a meeting with the teacher and see if she thinks its a real cause for concern. Chances are that these kids have just got fixated on it for some reason and they will get bored.

The thing is that kids are mean, theres no two ways about it!Everyone experiences some form of meanness from other kids (although most dont remember it if it was very rare) and there could be reasons why these kids think the way they do.....for all anyone knows their parents could be telling them if they dont get their work done quickly theyre a loser and so on. Its just unfortunate that kids take it out on other kids.

Its good to be concerned but at this stay I wouldnt be overly worried about it, keep a close eye and listen to what your son says but dont interrogate him about these children otherwise they will become his only focus.
xx

[popcorn]

I agree that emailing the teacher was a great first step. You can reiterate with Lucas that everybody works at a different pace, and people may do some things slowly and others quickly, everybody's different and that's just fine, etc. Did you hear back from the teacher yet? Even if it was just one kid making one comment, it's good that you (his parents) and the teacher are aware of how he's feeling and responsive to that.

[Wonderland.]

I think reassuring him that even though he may work slowly that that is okay because we all work at different paces and that he is doing well with his work and is at the right level. In a more child friendly way of course though.

[EightySix]

I've had a similar issue with my 6yr old.
His fine motor skills are behind his peers and he's not all that creative or good at drawing. And really he's not all that great in the sports department.
He's had trouble with his peers making fun of him not drawing like.them, not keeping up physically. He is sensitive as well so as soon as they see him start to.crack they just get worse.

I've discussed certain things with his teachers when they've been a problem. But mainly we remind him.of his strengths over his friends, everyone can't be good at everything.

Its tough seeing your baby so upset and being picked on.

[luo452132103]

Don't worry,everything will be fine.

[LizzieRose]

I'm not a mother yet, but if I were in your shoes, I'd probably just be there for my child and hug and cuddles them when they're picked on and tell them how much I loves them and positive things. Regarding evaluation, I'd wait a while before trying that, just in case. >^.^<