I work at a supermarket on the checkouts part time and I've heard parents tell some lies to their kids but last night I think I heard the best one ever. There was a customer with her son who was about 5/6. She was making a big deal of him just being a normal kid when she said "if you don't behave I'll get the security man to lock you in the cupboard out the back."
Not gonna lie, I was a little mortified :p
You can't lose hope when it's hopeless.
You gotta hope more,
then put your fingers in your ears and go,
"Blah blah blah blah!"
No I haven't but I'm pretty sure I've heard all the lies in it by now :p I know kids can be awkward but I'd like to think I wouldn't make up silly lies to make them listen!
You can't lose hope when it's hopeless.
You gotta hope more,
then put your fingers in your ears and go,
"Blah blah blah blah!"
When I was little, we were told that if we didn't put our seat belts on, we'd be told of by the seat belt police :p
Also, my mum had this wooden box of oils I think, like essential oils, and obviously if you ingest them, that wouldnt be good for you, so, she told us that if we touched the box, it would burn our hands because it was toxic.
Now that's a rather horrible lie, but it totally worked! None of us so much as touched that box!
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
If my little brother was doing something naughty before he could read we would tell him "that sign says you can't do that". Eg "that sign says you have to sit nicely on your chair", "that sign says you have to eat your veg" etc. it worked great in restaurants and shops and stuff.
We were also known when he was starting to not believe us a bit to recruit random waitresses to give him instructions so we would tell him the lady will tell him off and then have a quiet word with her and she would tell him to sit nicely or something :P
My dad broke my sister's potty when he was drunk & he told her that the potty fairy had come.
XD
I love these.
Makes me think though - what lies have people told children about scars if they've happened to see them? I tend to just go with 'I had an accident when I was little' & leave it at that.
If you eat apple seeds an apple tree will grow in your tummy ^_^ x
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
Eating your crusts will make your hair curl which failed with me as I already had curly hair and hated it so made me avoid crusts even more.
Same for me! :p
My older brothers were really bad for winding me when I was little because they were so much older than me. They used to ask if I wanted to know what I had for Christmas and would then tell me I'd got an apple and some oranges :p they also made me the Bogeyman was real and he was made of actual bogies.
You can't lose hope when it's hopeless.
You gotta hope more,
then put your fingers in your ears and go,
"Blah blah blah blah!"
If I didn't eat my pizza I'd never grow up to be a teenage mutant ninja turtle
I eat pizza now but alas my transformation is not yet complete ;_;
Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money.
They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with.
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
If you play with your belly button too much, your bum will fall off.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
My mum used to tell me that if I ever ran across the road, I'd trip over my shoelaces and get flattened by a steam roller.
For the next 15 years I always made sure I walked, and had my laces tied (two lessons for the price of one), but recently realised that steam rollers do in fact go so slowly that by the time it gets to you it would either have noticed you and applied the brakes, or you'd have picked yourself up and walked off.
The ultimate lie told to small children when out in public: The Man. I'm sure a lot of children have been threatened with The Man over the years, I know for a fact I'm not the only one. :P
"If you don't behave I'll tell The Man."
"Look, here comes The Man, he's coming to give out to you because you're not being good."
I've eaten apple cores for years and the only thing that's ever grown in my tummy is a baby. But the doctors assure me that wasn't due to eating apple seeds, so you should be OK.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
