I'm sorry you struggle with panic attacks, I can relate and it really is very difficult.
I can understand needing someone to talk to, but I think that with relying on someone specific, they might not always be available when you need them. Maybe you could try posting here when you need support and then hopefully you'll be able to get responses from more people. I can relate to struggling with calling helplines as well; I know it's not the same but perhaps looking for one that you could email would help? You can also email the Supporters on here (
support@recoveryourlife.com).
Have you found any coping techniques that help you with the panic attacks? Are you getting any professional help just now?
Take care of yourself x