Feeling abit lost...

[love.hate]

Hello my name is Samantha and i'm 18. I'm not really sure if i'm posting in the right bit but oh well.

I have been not quite right and have been SHing since i was about 13, nothing really bad has happened in my life except what most people go through like family deaths or a mentally abusive boyfriend to make me like this so I think there's just a problem with me.

I keep thinking i'm getting better and just end up straight back to the urges and sitting here doing nothing feeling like crap. I just feel so stupid because most of the time there is no reason for this. I just want to know if it ever does get better or will I always be like this even if it's not constantly?

Thanks, i've been feeling quite alone lately :|

[Mandimoo]

Hi there, my names mandi, i'm 25 and selfharmed between the ages of 15-17 with a few lapses in between. There may well be something wrong with you, you should not feel bad for having a mental illness though. Do you experience depression or anxiety? Have you ever seen a doctor to get help for this? If you decide you want to stop harming then that's a good first step.

Unless you replace the harming with another 'coping strategy' you will often find that when you stop harming it leaves a big hole and you don't know how to fill it. The distraction forum here is really good, also medication and talking therapies can help you not need to harm, or to teach you to deal'with emotions differently. Personally I like to bake to distract myself and i found writing poetry instrumental in my recovery. If you'd ever like to chat, drop me a pm and i'll try to reply quickly x

[PassedExpectations]

hey Samantha, you posted in just the right place :)

I self harmed for a long time too, but have been able to quit for a bit over a year. it does get better. you can break the cycle. the first step for me was understanding what feelings/situations/etc triggered my urges, so that i could be prepared for them. to figure that out, i kept a journal and wrote down what i was feeling/thinking/saying/time of day/who i was with and that sort of thing right before the urge hit. after a week or two i was able to go back and see some patterns that i had missed before...

[love.hate]

Thank you both for replying. I've never really talked to anyone like doctors about it, i've always kind of felt silly and when it's come round to it I feel okay again and wouldn't be able to put into words how I felt before. I've never really found a different way of coping its either do it or suffer through.

I hope it does get better because i can be fine for ages then drop back down again. I can never really seem to find a pattern, sometimes it is because something obvious has happened, other times it just happens randomly although it is probably thought provoked

[PassedExpectations]

sometimes the way out really is to suffer through. use other coping skills, build those, but at the end of the day if it doesn't help, you might have to tough it out and wait for the urge to dissipate on its own. most of the time it will, and you just have to teach yourself to wait until it does. the more times you battle through the bad feeling, the more confident you'll get that you don't have to harm yourself to get relief. and then eventually the urges start to not come as much or as strong

[Mandimoo]

I would pm a member and wait til their response before harming. It gave time for the urge to go.