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Vent (housing/mh)
So everything has gone to hell in the last 24 hours. My nextdoor neighbour has taken to screaming at me 'shut the **** up' when I am yelling. I've been sleeping on the streets for several weeks now; days spent in shop doorways or trying to sleep without any problems; so I don't disturb them or upset them.
Last night she left a note saying I am rude and selfish for yelling so much and upsetting them; and I am. I'm a truly awful awful person for upsetting them. I'm evil. I've tried everything to control it; audio books/reading/dvds/gaffa tape/SH/drinking; but whilst they work for a bit; it isn't enough. And being okay for a bit or being in control at all at any time just means CMHT call me liar for not being able to control it 100%.
I saw my GP who has told me I have an infection from sleeping on the street and told me not to. My arthritis is much worse as well. CMHT have refused all calls from everyone, GP, Lawyer, Landlord and Housing Worker. I rang and asked what his problem was ignoring all these people and he said he will see me tommorow because he is being forced to.
I just can't bear this. My grandfather died; yesterday I was told someone who has been close to me for 7 years and is my support faithwise is going to die soon (she hadn't even told me she had cancer!) and on 24th december is anniversary of my grandmothers death. I feel totally unsupported and it is breaking my heart that I have told and trusted and now I'm just being left to rot.
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