Confused?

[Fire Fly]

Hey guys,
Im really confused about what I'm experiencing right now... I know you guys cant diagnose or anything and i'm not asking for that, just wandered what you guys thought..

For the last 6 months I have been severely depressed and currently working with HTT. But right now well for a few hours now I dont know how I feel and its really unsettling...

Im so energetic and my thoughts are racing; I dont need to sleep or eat. Apparently I'm talking alot of rubbish such as Nasa spying on us through the gaps in the Ozone layers. But at the same time I feel really low and quite suicidal. The voices are confusing me and I keep thinking about the abuser from the flashbacks I keep having.

What's going on with me? I just feel so impulsive and energised but also agitated and anxious and suicidal. Does anyone know what I could do to help calm myself? (I'm meant to start taking an emergency supply of quetiapine for the low mood I was feeling earlier but now the voices say I shouldn't so I dont know?)

Thanks :) x

[talaiporia]

Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear you're having a difficult night. Is there anyone you could call? It sounds like you're very confused right now, and not very safe.

Taking the quetiapine, if it's prescribed/PRN sounds like a good plan. Else, is there a crisis team number you can call in your area?

[Fire Fly]

Hey.
I saw the HTT twice today as they were really worried that I was going to OD again but as it was at the cmht they spoke to the HTT consultant who is overseeing my case and decided to start me on quetiapine (but its strange as yesterday they said my bloods were still really bad). I can't take the quetiapine as it will make me sleepy and I don't have time to sleep. It will also make me put on weight and become so fat which I'm pretty much already. But mainly because it will fiddle with my thoughts and change everything. I'm already confused with what's my thoughts and what's the voices and what's the 'it' people who control my thoughts thoughts. So taking something else will be so confusing.

I rang the crisis team and it was an idiot who picked up (just my luck) and he just said go to sleep. I tried to explain I couldn't sleep because there's too much to do he proceeded to not understand and say listen to relaxing music to make you sleep. He also said I was being no compliant with them as I won't take the quetiapine but that's because of the voices and that I can't fall asleep as I have soo much to do. When I was only on 50mg like a million weeks ago before the od I slept for like 12 hours straight and they stopped it because of my live but now 300 is going to zonk me out when I have to take care if everything. Need to arrange lots of protests and petition of recycling and protection of the earth. He also said that he would talk to someone and call back. That was at 1:15 it's now 3:14. So he's a bit crap. I told him I don't know where I am and I'm confused who I am and he said okay. How do you want me to help?

I don't know who to talk to? My boyfriend is too distressed to listen to all of this at the moment and my best friend is asleep now so very confused. :/. Sorry

[talaiporia]

It sounds like you did an awful lot of damage last time, and aren't very safe right now. I might be wrong, but isn't quetiapine one of the ones that's less sedating in higher doses? I think it's worth taking it anyway; you need sleep, and you cannot afford another OD at this stage. Medication alone rarely causes weight gain, it's more often that it makes us more hungry, and in any case, a single dose will not affect your weight.

You really do need to try and get some sleep, even if he is an idiot, and even if there's lots to do, so that you are well-rested and better prepared to do all the things you need to do. You can't arrange all those things without some sleep.

Maybe calling your boyfriend would be a good plan. Otherwise, calling the HTT back and hoping for soemone better.

Please take the Quetiapine honey, even if it's just for tonight, just the one dose.

[Ballerina123]

The higher the dose of quietapine the less sedative it is so its unlike it will be as sadative at 50mg.
Give it a go. You don't know if you don't try x