I know what you mean about "if I'm alone I'm stable". It took me a very long time to realize that I needed to work on being more stable WITH people, rather than desperately trying to force myself to be alone. I couldn't see that there was anything I needed to work on at all; it just seemed as if everyone left me, or was only pretending to like me, or wanted something from me. I couldn't even distinguish between those who were actually trying to be there for me and those who really were just using me, because I was so good at finding evidence that people were not my friend that everyone looked the same through my lens.
It's hard, when you think that everyone is leaving you, to tell the good from the bad, the true from the fake. But you can do it, not just with therapists, but with everyone else. It sounds like this place will be able to help you do that...so since you're going, try and see it from others' perspective so that you understand what to work toward. It's much preferable to recognize why you need to go on your own, without having to hit rock bottom first.
I hope it goes well for you. Remember, your therapists are there to help, but not to be a close friend in the typical sense. If you become too dependent on them, or too close, they will have to take a step back. That's not leaving you, it's them continuing to try to help you. It's not fun, but it's more beneficial in the long run.
Remember to challenge your perceptions of people...I don't know about you, but I found that at some point I had to remember that I was biased and my initial perceptions were not always trustworthy. I was simply too good at seeing signs of insult and apathy from my friends, and not good at believing the evidence that they were my friends.
Best of luck to you...I really hope that you find a good goal for yourself (socially) and that you make it. And I especially hope that some day you do become a therapist and you are able to put what you've learned the hard way into good use.
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