Am I actually becoming demented?

[CosetteDaae]

Most of my friends are schizophrenic or otherwise delusional and/or paranoid. I love them to death but I fear the countless hours of conversations I've had with them might be taking their toll. Is insanity catching?

This past week I have: Googled "How to sell your soul to the Illuminati for fame" because I was kind of half-hoping that I'd actually find a way to be an Opera singer without passing College algebra. And because I was beginning to wonder if they really do exist.

Wondered numerous times if God was out to torture me.
(the Judeo-Christian God and I have a very complicated relationship. sometimes I think He's benevolent, sometimes I think he's evil, and sometimes I think He does not exist)

Listened to a dear friend of mine describe his battles with invisible worm demons, and without batting an eye, spoke to him as though this were an everyday occurance. "Yes? How did you get rid of the worm demons?"

I don't see things, I don't hear things, and there's nobody in my head but me. Me and a few scary stories, which I may or may not actually believe in. I'd mention this to my Psych, but I'm scared as hell she might say I have some serious mental illness. Or worse, that she (and/or my family) won't believe me if I really DO have some sort of serious illness.

This had BETTER be my imagination running away with me

[Gone.]

I don't think, from what you say, that you are becoming demented. What your friends are experiencing doesn't define you as a person but it may well normalise it for you. It's something that can be very concurrent with having friends that are going through what they are and something that I relate with, having been a member of RYL for nearly four years.

You're not crazy. You're not insane. You're not demented. I'm sure you're not the only one who has Googled about becoming an Opera singer rather than passing algebra. I know that I have Googled some pretty unusual things and, if you look at Google favourites (the drop down menu that pops up when you type in a word, to try to guess what you're going to say), there are a lot of random questions that are asked. We are all human and we all have different thoughts. That doesn't mean you're delusional, more normal, I'd say.

This normalising of such problems is something you're aware of and that's good. However, think about it, your psych asks you questions and you're feelings without batting an eyelid. People work in MH and very calmly respond to thinking that is out of the ordinary. That's because they're professional and accustomed to it. Maybe that's what your reaction is based on. Does that make sense?

Try not to worry so much.