Being told how you feel...

[Becca]

I struggle a lot with this happening to me. As I don't look how I feel what I am feeling is dismissed. Like telling me I must be full of rage and anger when I'm actually just very frustrated and sad.

Being laughed at when I say about voices.

Because I'm only allowed crisis support I must keep talking about the same hurtful experiences over and over and over again with nothing ever changing.

I wondered if it happens to others and how they manage it? My problem is I'm not the only one in this body and when I begin to crack the others take over whilst I'm really strugglin but look fine to everyone on the outside.

Because they are CPNs they say they know better than me.

[Sooty]

Noone knows better how you feel than yourself. Noone can possibly think that they understand your mind, your thoughts and your feelings more than the person experiencing them first hand.

Mental health professionals should treat all of your thoughts and feelings with importance because if they are important enough for you to share them because they are affecting you then they need listening to and addressing.

Have you found one particular person within your care plan is just that little more helpful and would be open to starting new conversations about these feelings and voices?

Sophie.x

[startingagain]

Are there are any voluntary agencies that could support you instead. My local CMHT for example has a poster up about a hearing voices support group. Then you would be with people that understood x

[[Awakening]]

Have you looked into Dissociation at all? The way you talk about others inside taking over sounds a lot like Dissociative Distress (in particular Dissociative Identity Disorder, which has a lot of symptoms similar to BPD but isn't recognised in the diagnostic book used in UK) You might find it helpful to allow the others to express how they are feeling sometimes, perhaps by telling you.

It could be that because there others you are more confused by which emotion you are feeling as it is possible to be influenced by the others emotions. I'm rattling on now, sorry!

Anyway, http://www.pods-online.org.uk/ hold some really good events around UK and have lots of information available and good links. x

[Becca]

I think the problem is that I have manipulated into bpd criteria. Literally. When I had my assessment they were more concerned with me fitting that criteria than what was happening; which is why the insistence on knowing what I feel.

No-one is of any help to me. The one I was beginning to trust became so disgusted (her word) she dumped me on someone else who refuses to see me altogether.

Awakening I will look at the site you suggest. Yes it has been suggested to me before many times as have other diagnoses but like I said CMHT rejected it in preference of bpd.

[[Awakening]]

Yeah, they like to do that. there are good resources available though, and you can do some prep work yourself. there's a good book that was recently recommended to me by a therapist who specialises in dissociative distress, it's like a work book you can work through yourself. If you're interested I'm it I can find the details.. Also there are many excellent therapists who are passionate about DID and can offer help to access help... dr Remi aquione (I think that's right) has screening tools and is happy to write a letter to your gp or Cmht with his recommendations of needed. most purple with dissociative disorders won't find the help they deserve in the nhs x

[Becca]

Quote:

Originally Posted by [Awakening]

Yeah, they like to do that.

Really? Wow. That helps. That probably sounds sarcastic but it isn't! I thought it was just me. I mean I went for my assessment with an advocate and all the therapist did was ignore what I said and say 'what you mean is x' when I didn't. I got banned from having an advocate after that as she didn't like what was happening.

I'd appreciate any help; I will look up the dr you mention as well.

Thankyou!!

[[Awakening]]

CMHT's really seem to like BPD diagnosis, I have witnessed them manipulating experiences to fit the criteria and completely ignoring full-blown dissociation right before their eyes. I really have little faith with CMHT's and, what are most likely, Dissociative disorders. I've met so many people who have been in the system with no improvement for ages because their CMHT wouldn't listen to them and the psychs didn't believe in DID... They really need to be forced to do the right thing, otherwise the option is to look privately (although I don't think that's entirely fair). You really truly aren't alone, I know this story all too well hon xx

You have been treated so appallingly! How can they ban you from having an advocate?! That's horrendous!

The Book is 'Coping with Trauma Related Dissociation' by Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele & Onno van der Hart - It looks like it's about £20 so not cheap unfortunately.

I just looked him up again and Remy Aquarone isn't actually a Dr, he's a psychotherapist, but his team includes a consultant psychiatrist - and everyone in the field knows and respects him. His website is this --- http://www.dissociation.co.uk/ You can access the 2 screening tools here http://www.pods-online.org.uk/wherecanigoforhelp.html and then email in to Remy who will be more than happy to help you.

PM me anytime if you want more details, assistance or anything xx

[Becca]

I can't afford private again there is no way and the only nhs therapist was the one who said I must have bpd. Not good. I will look up the sites when I have time.

I'm seeing the head of the whole of psychitrity on friday but I don't trust him and only get to see him one more time and it feels pointless to be honest.

Afraid to trust.

Say i won't make any difference; doesn't understand voices etc being okay with seeing him means I don't trust him at all and won't.