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Breakdown?
I don't even know where to begin..
A few months ago I finally swallowed my pride and went to the Dr. and got some meds that made me feel "normal." For the first time ever I was enjoying life. After about 3 months I was kicked off my parents insurance because "Your employer offers insurance." So I went to the HR department at work and they told me they will not cover me until open enrollment and the parent's insurance company can't kick me off. For 5 months now there has been a ton of finger pointing and neither of them will cover me. Most days I wake up wishing I had never had the meds in the first place because I know how fun life can be, but I can't get myself back to that place.
I have a job I loved until today. My boss (who is the funniest, nicest person I have ever met) has been gone all week. I was getting along great with the other boss until he decided to move me off one machine (which is the exact opposite of what my boss wanted done) and put someone there that had no clue what she was doing. Long story short, I got yelled at for not making shipment on the machine I was no longer running. I cannot handle stress, SIed on my first break and at lunch, started feeling extremely nauseous, and ended up lying and going home "sick" 4 hours early. I am not going in tomorrow because in a moment of almost uncontrolled rage I told the idiot if he did not put me back where my boss had told me he needed me, I would not be coming in. Now I'm wondering if I'll even have a job to go back to on Monday.
What scares me more than anything is that I have NEVER called in sick, left work early or been late to work. This is completely unlike me. My neighbor thinks I am having some kind of mental breakdown and I think I might agree. I have been more tense and "snippy" with everybody lately and I'm afraid one of these days I'm going to say the wrong thing to the wrong person. It's more difficult because 75% of my coworkers speak Spanish as their first language and 2 weeks ago one of them accused me of saying "f*** you" to my boss. What I said was "thank you" in a very angry/sarcastic way. I used to be the quiet one.
Thanks for reading my rant.. Hope your life is going better than mine.
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