I do struggle with impulsive buying as a result of BPD too. I've found several different things helpful. Sometimes its as simple as not taking my card out to the shops with me so you can only spend the cash you have. Or taking out the cash for the week at the start of the week and leaving the card at home in a drawer. I've also frozen cards in ice and destroyed one when I was out with it and started to get the MUST BUY EVERYTHING sort of thoughts. Or call someone who can talk to you or come and meet you when you start to think in that way. I find my urges tend to be fairly short lived so getting a coffee and a sit down can help.
Then theres ways to ring fence money for the important things like bills. I n the past I have had a separate account that all my bills go out from that I direct debit money into the day it goes into the other account. I did't have a card for the bills account either. So all access has to be in bank working hours which helps if you are an online spender/ don't like people like I do :P
Also I find not having a credit card and only a small overdraft help. Plus what about putting some of your money in an account in someone elses name for emergencies if you have impulsively bought things and have no food etc.
I used to put all my money into a savings account so i couldnt access it so easily, like through a cashpoint or pay for things by card in shops, and actually go to the bank on Monday to withdraw the money I would need for the week.
because it was such a hassle to get the money in the first place, if i felt i was going to buy something random on impulse, the feelings would usually be gone by the time I actually got to the bank.
worked really well
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Thanks for the ideas guys. I tried having a savings account but it didn't work, so recently I've been giving my mum money to save for me, so I have got some money aside. The problem with me is that my level of impulsivity is so high that if I get the thought in my head I've done it before I can stop myself I go kind of into autopilot 100 mile an hour, I know it sounds stupid but I genuinely can't stop myself.
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
I don't have a diagnosis (they can't decide what I have) But I have trouble with this too. I bought a second horse, loads of useless random stuff off ebay, lots of silly stuff for my horses and today a new car (there is nothing wrong with my car) IT makes me feel better. but I dont even know where half my money goes when im on a spending spree :L
I get round it because I have a savings account which I never found out the pin for. I automatically transfer some of my wages into it on pay day and have no idea of the pin number. The only way I can access the money is to overcome my anxieties and go to the actual bank. This is so hard for me that I tend to make sure I have enough money to get by in a month :L
Just_Different < because that's what I am
Anyone feel free to PM me ill always try to reply =]
I have this problem, it's actually quite bad at the moment.
Maybe it's another part of 'filling the emptiness' that people with BPD have, it gives me a buzz for a few minutes then I need to move onto the next thing I want to buy, I keep thinking 'If I get this it will be the last thing and then i'll feel happy' but it never happens and I end up buying something else and on and on it goes ....
Push will get a person almost anywhere except through a door marked “pull".
I have this problem, it's actually quite bad at the moment.
Maybe it's another part of 'filling the emptiness' that people with BPD have, it gives me a buzz for a few minutes then I need to move onto the next thing I want to buy, I keep thinking 'If I get this it will be the last thing and then i'll feel happy' but it never happens and I end up buying something else and on and on it goes ....
I don't really have any further advice to what people have suggested Amy, but without meaning to hijack your thread, I think the above describes 'emptiness' and it's associated feelings really well.
sometimes, with wine and ciggarettes and scratch cards and food. That's it though, not clothes or anything because I'm so used to not having money I dont even bother to look at clothes or anything anymore.
Rafiki (sorry I don't know your name), I don't think you should feel silly in the slightest, age shouldn't be a factor in it really. It sounds like you were really courageous and responsible in deciding to ask your Mum for support. Fair play.
I'm glad I'm not the only one - in the nicest way possible of course.
This week well my post was only two days ago I think I get paid on Friday, I've £50 left so far but I've been in hospital for one day and the next I was passed out so no chance to go out and buy anything although I've got thoughts of what to buy on frifri (:
Does anyone else feel the need to buy thing for other people or insist on paying if they're going to buy something? I'm like this all the time, it's really hard as so is my best mate who's also go BPD.
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
i completely relate to this thread, I'm moved out just after my seventeenth birthday and i will waste money on apps, clothes, presents, alcohol, cigarettes and mostly food because of my ed. i live right in town so when I go to Tesco i walk past every takeaway is a big are and I haven't got much else to do but go shopping daily, as soon as ESA comes through I'm in town and only stop when i have £10 to live on for the rest of the week.
i use the whole only taking x amount of cash with me, which definitely works as well with binging. i then make myself a challenge of how much food can i get for 60p in Tesco, I'm vegan too so it makes it a bloody hard game :')
"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?" - Alice, Alice in Wonderland
♥
I think my problems are linked with my ED aswell. I'm resisting but the thoughts are so damn hard to deal with and just get louder and louder till I snap. I'm the same as soon as my ESA comes through it's spend spend spend on things I don't even need or will give me a buzz for a short while. I'm glad taking only a certain amount of money out works for you I wish it did for me I just go back and get more out which is such an epic fail.
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
I can be kind of bad with my spending. usually with books, but occasionally with pricier items. Luckily, i have all my bills as an allotment on my paycheck, and i have a job with room and board, so if i spend all my money the most i have to worry about is caffine withdraw.
"I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery."- Thomas Jefferson
Honorably discharged from the United States Marine Corps.
"Make it work." -Tim Gunn
I can totally relate to this. I ended up over £2,000 in debt with an online store account. My need to buy is huge. A part of that is impulsivity, but I also buy for and treat my family as a way of me trying to make up for how i am and for all my failings. It was a big step for me to own up to my husband about my debt and we have dealt with it and i have closed down and cancelled my account. I am still reckless, but not as much. Ive now got a little of that ''I shouldnt be doing this'' feeling when i really need to spend/buy. It brings me somuch happiness to spend...but it also brings so much anguish
I know that some banks help specifically with this issue. So they might put a cap on how much they'll let you spend at once or how many transactions you can do in a time period. I don't know a lot about it but it might be worth looking into.
All I can add here is I am the same... Whenever money comes in I have an impulsive urge to spend it on mostly useless cr*p. I feel great when I buy something and its so exciting so I do think it feels that big emptiness with BPD... but its so shortlived and then that is of course how addictions form!
Im the same. However I think its not all due to my personality disorder. Sometimes Im just a bit unorganized. I like the idea of taking cash out at the beginning of the week and then once its gone it is gone. Im going to give that a shot when I get paid. Another thing I find helpful is when I want to purchase something asking yourself (if im skint) 'Do I need it'?? ''Can I afford it''. And if I am not skint ''Will I use it??''...''is it worth it''. I got these 'money mantras' from the money saving expert website. The link is below. http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/20...-without-them/
I get paid on Friday, I've £50 left so far but I've been in hospital for one day and the next I was passed out so no chance to go out and buy anything although I've got thoughts of what to buy on frifri (: 
