The difference between Men and women in the shower! :P
I read this in GQ today and it made me titter so i thought i would post it!
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
take off clothes and place them sectioned in a laundry basket according to colour.
walk to bathroom wearing dressing gown
if you see husband along the way cover up any exposed areas
look at your physique in the mirror, make mental note to do more leg lifts in the morning
get in the shower
use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah and pumice stone
wash your hair once with sage and cucumber shampoo with 43 added vitamins
condition your hair with grapefruit and mint-enhanced conditioner
wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red
wash the rest of your body with gingernut and jaffa cake body wash
shave armpits and legs
turn off shower
sponge off all wet surfaces in the shower
spray mould spots with tile cleaner
dry with towel the size of a small country
wrap hair in super absorbent towel
return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head
if you see husband along the way cover up any exposed areas
spend 40 minutes drying hair with hand held jet engine
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
take clothes off while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile
walk naked to the bathroom
if you see wife along the way, shake your manhood and make a "woo-hoo" sound
admire your physique in the mirror and the size of your manhood. Scratch backside
get in shower
wash your face
wash your armpits
blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off
spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area
wash your hair with stuff from the bottle nearest to hand
make a shampoo mohawk
pee like a racehorse
rinse and get out of the shower
fail to notice water on the floor because the curtain was hanging out of the bath
admire size of manhood in mirror again
leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on
return to bedroom with towel around waist
if you pass wife, pull off towel and make a "woo-hoo" sound
throw wet towel on bed
run fingers through hair twice to dry it
THE END
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
hehehehe my boyfriend leaves water all over the floor!!! I get pissy at him though so I tell him off and he tries to make sure that he wipes it all up, I hate it was I get my clothes wet because the floor is wet!!!! I think I shall send him this :D
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
