I don't know what to do anymore

[YourDeadFriend]

I have been struggling for so long and i just can't see a reason to be alive, i screw everything up and i never feel happy, not even remotely, i get all this abuse at school and yelled at when home even though my parents know i'm depressed, i have professional help but that has never helped neither has medication. I just want to die, i am sick of living

[PassedExpectations]

of the things that you feel that you have "screwed up"... how many of them have truly been under your control? there are lots of things that we try to take responsibility for that we really have no control over. and at first it makes us feel better, because we don't have to recognize that we aren't powerful in all situations, but then it hurts because something happens and we blame ourselves when there is nothing we could have done. which then makes us feel defeated and less likely to change the things that we can control.