When I was 6 and my little sister was 4, my second oldest brother began to sexually abuse us, I wont go to much into details. Basically we were sexually abused for about 2 or 3 years, not sure my memory is very vague and no one in my family talks much about it. We except that it happened but it is rarely discussed. Anyways, the abuse stopped because my brother admitted to it and wanted to stop because he knew it was wrong and he was sorry. My sister and I were suppose to go to a councilor but never went to a real one. We talked it through with our older brother and a year or two later we forgave him and began moving on with life. Well I'm now 18 and for the past 10 years i feel like I have been living in denial, almost like a dream world. Reality is starting to set back in and the pain hasn't gone away. We still live in the house were the abuse occurred and any room I walk into slaps me with a painful memory. Last night I had a flashback dream which was horrible and caused me to wake up screaming and crying. I cant take living here anymore and I'm at a loss as to how to deal with it. I cant talk to my parents, they dont understand and tell me I'm making it worse for myself then it needs to be. All of my siblings are moved out so i rarely see them and my little sister is just as loss. I'd like to move out but i still have 6 months of high school left and if I do my mom will not help me with my first year of college. If someone could please offer some advice I would love it!
