I'm wondering what people think about going into hospital/psych ward, and if people think it's a good idea, bad idea, depends on the situation, etc, and why you think whatever it is you think about it?
I was just curious of other peoples views, and also anyone with experiences with hospitalization, too.
I've been considering hospital for a while now, well, longer than a while, and I'm not one to even go near hospital as an option personally, but I have been considering it, things are very bad right now and well, ... yeah.
I've been in hospital before, but I was very young[like, 13 yrs old], and it was under section, so it's not like I did it voluntarily, or considered it and chose it and committed myself.
Personally, what I'd benefit more from would be a quiet retreat type place. My local psych hospital is totally not a haven for someone very sensitive like me [very few single rooms, stereos everywhere, etc - I've been on their website]. It kind of sucks that a place for crisis would probably induce more crisis in someone like me...!
Anyway, my treatment plan includes keeping me out of hospital, basically. Which is cool with me, but the whole set up doesn't really give me a safe place to recoup when I'm in crisis.
I think it depends on how severely your illness is impacting you, if you are absolutely unable to keep yourself safe otherwise.
I've read posts where people have their phones, etc, on units in the UK, but in the US, the hositals I've been to won't even let you bring a paper cup of water into your room. Two or three-person bedrooms with a desk, a thin pillow, a thin sheet, and a thin blanket.
No belts, no shoelaces, no jewelry, one time they even refused to give me my toothbrush, and I have always been voluntary. No pens or pencils except for in the lounges. You can bring an appropriate book, or a word-search.
Over here, there's a big initiative to not allow smoking o hospital premises of any kinds, with one exception, which is the hospital I've been to the most. And that's four people to the smoke room at a time, using a hole in the wall that lights your cigarette. If you get off unit restriction, you can go downstairs to the cafeteria. You can also go to the art room, or outside to the small paved area, surrounded with fences and wire. Coed, lots of emphasis on group therapy, see a psychiatrist for about a minute a day, see a social worker sometimes.
Another hospital I went to, we did not move from the unit - not even to go to the cafeteria. Also coed, they didn't care if you went to groups or not.
There are other hospitals I could list, but I guess if I need to condense it down - it's what I said at the beginning. And it's not a relaxing/safe environment. I have seen patients attack staff and other patients with a sharp object they found. Also inappropriate contact from male patients a lot. It's loud - people are very ill and screaming at nothing, staff, or other patients. Visiting hours are pretty limited. No passes to leave the hospital unless you've been there way long. No cell phones, no blankets, pillows, or anything like that from home, no ipods, no computer access, etc. I just mention that because I have seen posts where people have access to some of those things while in the hospital, but I have never come across that being allowed where I've been. Except for a specialist hospital where we could sign out a cell phone at certain times, and use the community computer for certain times.
I really really think it depends on the ward, the admission, the staff etc. because you can honestly get two completely different admissions from two completely different wards or even the same ward, depending on what the staff are like and why you are there, what your needs are etc.
Overall I think if it's not going to be more damaging in the long run and/or it's needed for safety then it's worth a go.
Just as an example I have had completely different experiences to two different wards in the same unit. One was pointless and one really benefited me. If you can find out what the potential ward would be like especially their attitude towards self harm.
Personally, what I'd benefit more from would be a quiet retreat type place.
When I was really bad a few years back, and had already been with my parents for a while, I ended up spending a few weeks with my Gran in the middle of nowhere, in a tiny village with one shop which only opened for a few hours a day, and buses that only worked once a week, and no internet. And it helped a lot. It was nice to escape from the world for a while.
I think if it comes down to the point where you no longer trust yourself / are frightened of yourself and can't be cared for 'in the community' by friends/HTT/outpatient people then it's an option.
But it's not a walk in the park, and it's not a hotel. It is a hospital, it is sucky, but it may be your only option at that point.
How are you feeling at the moment?
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
Hey,
I think im only echoing what others have said but it depends on the ward and the staff at the time. BUT it also depends on your attitude towards the hospital stay and whether you really want to work to get better or not.
I've only been in hospital once when they threatened to section me. But I found on the Acute ward I was on there wasn't much to do other than watch tv. The staff would talk to you if you wanted to talk but you have to approach them. I saw the ward psych once every few days where they would change my meds. There was occupational therapy which was just playing with clay for an hour, once a week and that was it.
It didnt benefit me as I wasnt in the mood or the right frame of mind to help myself recover so I still self harmed whilst being IP and still did OD's whilst on leave. In the end my mental health was deteriorating quicker whilst I was in hospital than in the community so they discharged me.
But my boyfriend finds being IP for him to be really useful. As it gives him time away from his issues and have more energy when he's discharged to tackle them head on. On his last admission he managed to cut down his SH/ing and use lots coping strategies that he has learnt from being on ward.
The difference is though between his ward and my ward was that the staff were alot more stricter in what you cna and cant have. What you can and cant do. Which i think makes a big difference.
Hope you make the right decision and that your team supports you in whatever you choose. x
Ballerina123 - My lovely superstar
Call me R -
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln
The time when its justified is when you have tried everything else, the Crisis Team or Home Treatment Team, the option of staying with someone for a few days, and the CMHT not being able to support you [for example, too high a risk and need for support at the weekends].
Admissions are stressful, the other patients can be scary, the staff vary a lot, it depends what they are like, and if you can get on with them. The consultant is the person who will authorise an admission so if you are not in a crisis bed [these tend to be controlled by a crisis team consultant] it depends on the consultant's opinion of the problem, and ideas of what is and is not helpful. Here anyone with BPD tends not to get an admission because the crisis team are of the opinion its better for a person to learn to manage in the community, being a chronic disorder rather than an acute illness like psychosis. This is not to say BPD does not have crisis points, but here they tend to reserve admission to acutely ill people needing constant supervision and often a medication reveiw under observation.
I think most of the time an admission has to have an aim, an objective to work towards. Being clear what you want from it, is not only helpful to you, but will direct the people caring for you towards helpful strategies and everyone will be singing from the same hymn sheet. Some wards have a really good OT service/programme, but some wards are literally a holding place for someone, with no interactions or therapeutic activities or provision for occupational therapists.
What do you want right now and is there no way it can be offered in the community?
One issue is that asides from crisis admissions, which here are no more than 7 days, no consultant wants a person in hospital longer than absolutely nesscessary, so an admission will probably be limited to 1-2 weeks, for example. If there is clear purpose, I think a consultant would be more willing, than to just help you keep safe, if the risk is chronic and the needs are to manage this day to day, often they will [here anyway] deem that the CMHT's job.
Do you wish to try a specialist ward for treatment or more of a short term crisis admission?
How are you feeling right now? Have you ever used the crisis team?
*hugs* & love xx
Last edited by MissAnonymous : 11-09-2012 at 10:46 PM.
I'm glad I read this thread. I was considering doing the same thing. But I don't think so now. I'm a very shy, scared, nervous person & the hospital might stress me out even more.
"One good thing about music, when it hits you feel no pain"
I've only ever been admitted voluntarily, although I wouldn't describe it as my "choice". I think it's a brave thing to do, to consider a planned admission and so I think that possibly (with an attitude of, I can do this, I will get better) it could be more useful for you than it was for me.
I hate being in hospital, I hate the restrictions, I hate the kind of stigma attached to it. I find it a really intrustive environment. The ward that I went to for the longest I found really difficult because most people there seemed to be in acutely depressed states, either that or highly medicated. No patients would talk to me, everyone kind of just shuffled around being miserable. I'm fully aware that in many ways I was lucky because in the time that I was there only twice was anybody restrained and incidents of people kicking off were few and far between. I found myself feeling that I wasn't ill enough (to be fair I never believe I'm ill, though) and feeling very out of place. I also found that it completely limited my coping mechanisms, I couldn't blast my music, I couldn't go for a run and I also learned (in my longer admission) a lot of new ways to hurt myself. I was really surprised at how much worse I got in the first few days.
Ultimately I think that admission is useful for me to a point. In that since the longer admission, which was completely the wrong thing to do at that time, I haven't been in more than 48 hours. It stops me from doing myself some serious damage and then sends me away with more intensive OP support.
Long story short, I find that I do better with more intensive OP support, I find that taking me out of "the real world" makes life more difficult and that it's scary how quickly I lose my coping skills.
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Make us all feel wonderful. We'll never forget."
i always think that admission may be the safest option but actually when i am there it is awful, especially under a section. the restrction brings out an almost primal fight or flight response and i get more suicidal and it takes a long time to get to a place where i am safe enough to go out. also i have found quite stigmatised by it. also i wish i had never gone in in the first place as when you do (esp for long periods) it becomes harder to adjust to living on the outside and can become almost like an addiction. other people are in control.
Thank you all for your opinions/experiences, I guess I have a lot of thinking to do regarding hospitalization, you've all given me a lot of things to think about regarding considering hospital, and how it would be inpatient, and how things could be after being in hospital, etc etc, so thank you.
I live alone and when I get to a certain point hospital does help keep me safe.
For me hospital provides a safe place where I can wait till my mood lifts.
When in hospital there is routine in the sense that I get three meals a day and have to be up for medication etc!
There isn't any therapy and I can go days without talking to a member of staff but it does help somehow that said if I didn't live alone or I was able to keep myself safe I wouldn't dream of being admitted.
When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen
Is a chocolate muffin loving glitter ball
I think it's important to remember that if you really need to be in hospital (ie suicidal, extremely manic, psychotic or whatever) then you should go to get the treatment you need.
However, if there is any chance that you can manage without an admission then you should try first to work with the home treatment team and your CMHT.
My last admission was back at Easter as I was extremely suicidal and was admitted through the crisis team. I was admitted over the Easter bank holiday weekend so the usual staff weren't on the ward and the psychiatrist was not due back for a while. Because of this I was not allowed to go outside or anything and I was incredibly bored on the ward. Occupational Therapy was not running either and it actually made me feel worse not having anything to do.
The other patients just paced around the ward, went into town to smoke or slept. I didn't want to do any of those things. Thankfully I managed to get out after three days.
I've been in hospital many times before and the best (also the worst) one was when I was on a section three (for treatment). I was on a special DBT ward so the therapy was intense and there things to do all day every day.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
If you don't want hospital, what else would help you to be safe? Staying with someone who can keep an eye on you maybe? Here if you need help lovey xxx
Have you ever tried going to A&E when you're feeling as though you're just about to harm yourself? That way you could stay in a safe environment whilst experiencing the most overwhelming urges. You would also be able to speak to a psychiatrist and explore a range of crisis support options. Going to A&E doesn't necessarily mean they will want to admit you, but it would help keep you safe for the short-term when your urges are at their strongest.
Colour - I don't really have anyone who can keep an eye on me. My mother has her own problems, and it's a difficult task to be there for me and keep an eye on me, she is an alcoholic and she drinks every night, so she wouldn't be able to anyway.
During the day, I have things to do. I'm distracted. I find nights harder.
I don't want hospital, I don't really think anyone would like it, I mean, it'd keep me safe, they could adjust my meds and try to stablize me, but then when I come out, I wouldn't be in a safe enviornment, I'd be back to square one, which is what is the concern. I'd have some safety and stablization though... I don't know.
I try to distract myself but there's only so much I can take before it gets too much and I may not be so lucky next time I self harm. I nearly bled to death last time and I'm surprised I didn't die. I'm still suffering with the consequences, but part of me welcomes death.
I don't know.
Shed - I've been to A&E before when I felt suicidal/at risk of harming myself, they sent me home last time I went. The psych wasn't on duty, and they figured it'd be a waste of time and I should go home. *shrugs*
I don't want to go to A&E unless I need to, with my self harming and self destructive behaviors, but because of in the past, they didn't really do much and just sent me home either within hours or the next day...
Sorry to see that you're struggling so much at the moment lovely. Is hospital something that has been suggested to you as an option by your care team or? I hope that whatever you decide, it will be helpful and that you can keep safe. Just remember that you need to keep living to continue watching the most amazing series ever - Buffy. ;)
We posted at the same time. Have you spoken to your CPN or whoever about this, Sarah? It sounds like things are pretty rough for you right now and you need some extra support.
Heh, thank you for making me smile. Right now, I'm watching How I met Your Mother - Willow from Buffy is in it[or Alyson as her name lol]. So that's a new addiction. And I also am watching Dollhouse - Faith from Buffy and Angel is in it! She's the main character. Very interesting. So, those are good distractions.
I saw my CPN today. We are working on building up to talking about difficult things, like my self harming, my BPD, my OCD, my blah blah, everything that I find a major struggle - I've gotten angry and avoidant and walked out when things get difficult, so we're working on building up to talking about it.
I saw him today though, and I think it went well. We talked about how I don't have to get rid of my blades, he understands I need them, so he said to wrap all of them in newspapers and in boxes and then it's difficult for me to get to them, and in those minutes of getting to it, hopefully I will feel calmer and able to distract myself again and stuffs.
So he said it's an experiment and see how it goes.
We talked about how I wanted to die, reasons to live, etc, building on experiencing positive things and using those experiences as an incentive to keep living etc etc.
We talked deeply about my mothers alcoholism, and he was very lovely to me with how I felt, how I feel it's my responsibility, how I feel it's my fault, how I feel worried/upset/etc, and we talked a lot on that, we even went over time so he could talk to me.
We're working on building a trust, a connection, and breaking down barriers.
I thought maybe I could write a letter and tell him through that how bad things are and what to do and options and stuffs... I don't know...
Sorry for blabbering!
I guess typing and being on here distracts me so I just keep distracting so I don't hurt myself...
Thank you for all your support guys, it means a lot.
I guess I just feel hopeless... in terms of ever being stable, ever being better in any way shape or form...
