Opening up.

[hope51]

How do you go about that? I have a new social worker and i'm meant to be writting down what effects me and what i want to change all that fun stuff. I've kinda hit a wall though and could do with some advice on something.

One thing i know i need to talk about is this OCD thing, it's become quiet a big issue at the moment to the point where i'm not house bound but basically room bound most the time, so yer guess i need to erm talk about it as much as really don't want to. It doesn't help that i find the whole thing quiet embarssing, even thinking about talking about it makes me cringe. I just i don't know how to bring the subject up even if i write it down, i have no idea where to start. I'm pretty sure it's in my notes somewhere from when i was in hospital years go but it was never really gone into back then, there where other more pressing issues at the time.

How do i bring it up? I'm not ok with writting or saying the words OCD it doesn't sit well with me at all. Plus i dunno kinda feels like self diagnoising somehow since it's never really been an issue that i've talked about before and she has no idea about it guess i'm just not i dunno ok with kinda labeling myself. So yer i need some ideas of how i can apporch the subject as i have no clue. Any advice or ideas much appericated. Thanks in advance.

[PaleMoon]

You know, I'm sure your social worker is competent and good at what they do. But it's still a relationship like any other, and it takes time to warm up to a new person. It may be that you just need time to get to know them, and things can start to gradually come up in conversation.

You can just talk about what's there for you. The emotions you've been feeling, the thoughts you've been having. You don't have to even mention the word "OCD." Whatever label, obviously it's something you feel needs to be addressed.

[hope51]

Yer your properly right. I just feel under huge pressure right now off her that i need to talk. Aapently the odd few words doesn't cut it she is expecting more than that. Even if it is written down. I'm just not sure i'm ok with opening up to her at this point i guess. Yet it seems to be that i should be by now in her eyes. Could do without this added pressure to be honest. Just making it to the appointment is hard enough never mind anything else. Maybe i'll just consentrate on trying to fill this questionaire thing in honestly without lieing. Hmmm, yes she may want more than that and expect more than that, but hey that's life. You don't always get what you want. She can drop me for being i dunno uncoprative that's her choice. Yes slightly drunken angry post haha.

[random.swirls]

How long have you been seeing her for?

It took me quite a long time to open up to my care coordinator as I didn't know her and you have to build that trust really.

I still find it hard telling her things although I am a lot better at it now and as a result I still write things down and just chuck the letter at her!!!

I think the first thing to do is to fill in the questionnaire. If you are struggling with it take it one question at a time and when you get to a point that it's like rah take a break and go back to it later!!

If the OCD thing is a big issue at the moment then it's definately worth telling her about it? Why don't you list the symptoms that you are struggling with? I have done this before and it worked really well. Just say at the moment I'm struggling with XYZ and think I need some help with it!!

A relationship takes time but it also needs work it's never easy opening up to professionals but often it is worth it in the long run.

Xox

[hope51]

Erm i've seen her 3 times in all i think so like 3 hours if that. I saw her for a couple of sessions then got randomly passed onto to her student for 4 sessions i think, then last week after waiting months finally saw her again, ( student moved on.)

Personally think it was a bit of a joke if they read my old notes then they would see it takes me ages to talk to someone. Apperntly though that is not the case i should have opened up by now at least gave them something to go on. It's just not that easy.

To be honest i have issues with writting things down after it didnt work in my favour many years ago. Still regret it to this day. Where does that leave me then i have no clue. If i can't talk, can't write things down.

I'm yet to fill any of the questionaire in. Looked at it many times but not put pen to paper. Kinda decided it's something i maybe need to do on the day or i'm going to over think it even more and stress myself out even more. Just need to get up that bit eariler to do it now, haha we shall see how that goes i'm rubbish with alarms.

Yer i know i need to tell her at some point. Just kinda rather it be on my own terms than something else leading to it. Have no idea how to go about it though.

In there eyes i don't think they see it as a realtionship taking time more of just talk, blah if only it was that easy.

Stops with drunken ramble for now.

[talaiporia]

It takes a while to built trust, but in the meantime, writing a letter might help. It may also be worth reminding them that it takes you a long time to build trust.

If you were able to keep the paper, maybe the issues wouldn't be so probelmatic (I'm not sure what the issue was).

[hope51]

I didn't think of that yes maybe that could work if i got back what i had written. Will give it some thought.

As for now i just need to consentrate on getting there since i've gone all woe like and seriously considering not bothering. I'll try fill the questionaire in if i get myself up to go. As for anything else it's going to have to wait.

Yet to work out how i'm going to manage this. Getting up and i need to drive there which means i need to stop drinking soon. Going to be hard, very hard. Worst comes to worst i wont be going and will explain why next time. I wont drive drunk one rule i'm yet to break with myself. Alarm is set which a start. Feeling quiet unsafe but gonna try ride it out, this needs to be done i guess.