You drain my happiness

[singing potato]

Almost every single time I talk to my mother on the phone it completely drains my happiness. All she ever does is talk about herself, or how much she hates my father, or guilt trips me into moving back home. She even tells me things such as "Everyday I die a little", YOU DON'T TELL YOUR CHILD THAT!!!! Recently I have realized that she is one of the biggest hindrances to my getting better. I don't ever plan on moving back home. I couldn't ever tell my mom this, she is dealing with enough right now, let alone me dropping the kind of bomb on her. Also, in my mind I equate honesty with being mean. I have seen it before. My brother would say something honestly and politely and my mom takes that as him being mean to her.

I don't know what this post is for, I guess empathy, to see if someone else is like this.

[TrixiePix]

I know what you mean, though I'm sure its different for everyone, I don't really have any advice but if you ever need to talk, or vent PM me any time.

[singing potato]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrixiePix

I know what you mean, though I'm sure its different for everyone, I don't really have any advice but if you ever need to talk, or vent PM me any time.

Thank you very much, that made me smile =)

[squirrelspit]

i used to avoid speaking to my mother at all costs because every time i did it would be snipey little insults about my sisters and my dad (even though my mum and dad have been divorced for 13 years).

I guess maybe it was my issue too. Speaking to her reminded me of all the reasons why i moved far far away and it used to drag up all my old problems and make me feel about 14 again.

Now that i have my son it is a lot lot better as we have something 'safe' to talk about.

I would suggest not cutting your mum off completely, there will be a time again when you really need her. Whenever my mum used to talk about stuff i didnt want to hear i would just subtly (or not so subtly) change the subject.

[singing potato]

Well I won't cut her off ever, just avoid her for a while. The problem with changing the subject is I'm not much of a talker to begin with, but especially with her. I don't even pay attention when she talks because it's always the same thing so I just occupy myself until she is done talking and go "Yeah".

[Steel Maiden]

My mum acts similar to that, manipulative and mean. I removed her from my life, blocked her on my phone and threatened to call the police if she comes round to my house and harasses me. I nearly got an injunction against her. It is hard but unfortunately some mothers get the attachment bit wrong.