My friend & I got into a conversation about really rubbish or ridiculous tips you get in magazines like Chat & Take A Break. eg: "I like to save my yoghurt pots & use them to keep things in"
I remembered one I'd seen about a Tampon Ghost. (Actually a website of tampon crafts)
Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand next to
the object you wish to view.
An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an
inexpensive vibrator.
A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep.
Fool next door into thinking you have more stairs than them by
banging your feet twice on each stair.
Recreate the danger of a parachute jump in safety by visiting Google Earth and clicking the scroll bar until you reach the ground. Add realism to the exercise by putting a fan on blowing full in your face.
PHOTOGRAPHERS. Confuse Boots employees by taking pictures of your negatives and developing positive negatives.
HOUSEWIVES. When washing clothes, pop a couple of teabags in the washer instead of soap powder, milk where the fabric conditioner should go and put it on a boil wash. Hey presto, when the clothes are washed you can enjoy a nice cup of tea.
MUMS. AFTER your kids have mastered spelling with Alphabetti Spaghetti, buy a tin of the normal stuff so as they can practise joined-up writing.
SHOPPERS. When you have finished and are leaving the supermarket, kindly offer your shopping list to people who are going in, as they may have forgotten to make one.
ASTHMATICS. Avoid going on holiday to places where the scenery is described as breathtaking.
BLIND PEOPLE. Give yourself at least a chance of seeing something by not wearing heavy dark glasses all the time.
MICRA DRIVERS. The little number 5 on your gearstick refers to what is known as 'fifth gear'. This will allow you to reach speeds of over 25 mph.
MUMS. CONFUSE your children by mixing butter with their I can't Believe It's Not Butter. They won't know what to believe.
A USED CONDOM filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.
IMAGINE you are small by sitting in a big tree and pretending it's a bonsai tree. And eating a king-size Mars bar.
PEOPLE CALLED Steven. Save time by calling yourself Steve
DON'T WASTE money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to “switch tracks”, simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.
SHOPPERS. If what you wish to purchase is not in stock, inform the assistant that you've come all the way from Stanely on the No.2 bus. They will take pity on you and have your item materialize out of thin ****ing air.
PUT A SAWN-OFF piece of exhaust pipe in your mouth in an attempt to fool your Dad you've swallowed his car.
CONVINCE neighbours that you own an old fashioned typewriter by wearing metal thimbles and drumming your fingers on a plastic tray. Every ten seconds ting a wine glass with a pencil and run a butter knife along the teeth of a comb before continuing drumming your fingers.
MALES. IF stuck for something to talk about with other equally awkward males at social gatherings, simply pipe up about a random A road or motorway that you crossed on your journey and mention that it was 'quite busy.' This will spark off an exchange of similar road themed anecdotes that should last until hometime.
EMPLOYERS. Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin.
STUDENTS. When asked to write a 3000 word essay, simply draw 3 pictures, as they are worth 1000 words each.
I read a magazine top tip saying that, if you have trouble finding where you left your car in a car park, tie a balloon to the aerial. And one which said you should create the illusion of curves by sticking sanitary towels to your hips!
I read a magazine top tip saying that, if you have trouble finding where you left your car in a car park, tie a balloon to the aerial. And one which said you should create the illusion of curves by sticking sanitary towels to your hips!
That's gotta be a wind up! My dog spazzes out if I hoover him, lol
Nope they even included a picture of the dog being vacuumed, i remember pissing myself laughing over that tip, i mean on one hand its a bit cruel to the dog and secondly its not good for the vacuum esp at the rate my dog moults at!
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
Their is a website dedicated to these tips that is highly amusing!
I'll see if i can find it!
When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen
Is a chocolate muffin loving glitter ball
DOG OWNERS. Keep a plastic bag full of excrement behind the kitchen door. When you exercise the dog, take it with you to save collecting a new lot each time.
My dog spazzes out if I hoover him, lol
