A large part of my degree was in English. Though I got a bad grade at A level, I got a 2:1 for my degree. BUT I always had a hard time with lit crit, and now I'm beginning to have a sense of why.
I'm doing an online poetry course, and I'm having a really hard time detecting irony, connotation, etc, ie implied meaning.
I'm debating whether it's because of my undeveloped areas of relationship awareness, concepts of 'other minds', or whether it's because of having been bullied/abused. It could even be both.
Does anyone have any thoughts?
Anyone else have a hard time with similar?
Thanks. :)
I don't know. I don't think it's helpful to blame everything you struggle with on your past... sometimes people just aren't good at things. Like I'm terrible at recognizing flirtatious behaviour, (be that my own or others) but I'd say that was just how I am as opposed to a consequence of abuse.
Do you see what I mean? I think blaming everything on bullying means you have 'excuses'for all your faults, when in fact your faults are very much individual and make you a 'real' person filled with positives and negatives.
This probably isn't making much sense!
Last edited by Bellatrix : 20-08-2012 at 12:29 PM.
Reason: wrong word
But, I am so, I guess, desperate to be good at something, and when English was always my best subject (before I did Sociology!) I feel really down at not 'getting' something. Grr, I even feel tearful about it.
I can understand wanting reasons for things Katie.
My brother has Aspergers, and I can see traits of that in myself at times. It is easy and tempting to say "oh, maybe I have Aspergers, or borderline, or whatever" but really, I don't think it matter WHY you have problems with certain things too much. Understanding can help. But learning and solutions are so much more valuable.
It's ok not to be good at everything. The point of the course is to learn and that is the part you will need to study more for. Other people on the course will find things difficult that you find easy, so maybe you can ask for an online study partner.
I got maximum marks for both assignments, I'm astounded to discover... I did research a lot online for them, as I find it REALLY hard.
I do really think there's a component of undeveloped emotional literacy causing part of the problem for me, as I do find it hard construing social cues or how someone is feeling from facial expression and such.
I have to know why for everything!!! I'm a bit of a 5 year old like that! Buuut inquisitiveness is good, right! And I do want to feel less confused and really don't want to make social faux pas.
I know also, I am terrified that my MH stuff has effected my intelligence. But I know more that I've had to develop it in other ways to cope and manage. So I've not done any remotely academic stuff for the past 7 years or so...
Apologies for insecure petulant child self state...
I think sometimes we feel we should be good at things and when we struggle and have to work harder it feels like it's us when actually it's okay to struggle.
Katie my degree was in psychology I guess I am good at academia but currently im doing a course on development psychology I am clueless as I don't really know children. Yet because I am working hard at it I am getting fab marks which is all rather ironic but sounds similar to you!
When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen
Is a chocolate muffin loving glitter ball
I am still always stunned by how I got the O level grades I did, as I was so dissociated/zoned out all through my classes - and the exams. I guess my mind sort of ran on two pathways throughout.. and now I'm more on one track and more conscious it's sort of... uncomfortable? I felt that by doing research I was cheating, for example..
For what it's worth I have always admired more the people who work hard for their grades rather than the ones who sail through. I'll admit I find academic stuff relatively easy, I got a first class degree, and 3 As at A level, but I also didn't find it particularly difficult, of course there were parts I found hard and i did have to work, but mostly it was alright. Compare that to the girl I was friends with during a levels who also got three As - the difference being she worked her heart out to get those grades, revising every night, carrying folders around everywhere, whilst i didnt really try that hard beyond a bit of light revision from some crumpled notes the week before. In my eyes she deserves the grades more, because she worked harder for them, and earned them through hard work. So it is definitely ok to find things difficult and to struggle with them as it makes you appreciate praise/good marks so much more.
I'm just beginning to get a grasp of that. It's a hard thing for me, but I'm working at it! It's hard when I'm bad at maths, science, a lot of linguistic stuff. But when I work at something and figure it out for myself [computer stuff at work, these assignments, and dare I say it... LIFE...] I do learn fast, once I get over the initial obstacle. I need to encourage myself to build my self confidence.
I have a view that I 'kind of suck at relationships/friendship', but maybe I'm not as hugely bad as I thought I was. I'm really not sure. I've always been told in the past that I lack confidence, am shy - or am manipulative and [personality disordered]. People in my life now who know me well give me credit for what I do well in relating, and for the most part tolerate my occasional crankiness, peevishness, spaced-out ness.
I needed extra tuition in GCSE English Literature and I didn't take it for A-level. For example a question in a year 8 English Lit paper (internal school exam): "describe the humour in this poem"; my answer: "there is no humour". Or, when we studied Pride and Prejudice (I hate that book): "describe the irony in this section", my answer: "I have no idea".
So I can understand. But I ascribe that to autism and being unable to "read between the lines"/detect emotions.
I don't think you should worry about losing your intelligence, because I don't think you have. There are different ways of studying English and we're not all good at all of them. I got through English Lit GCSE by making copious notes of everything the teacher said in the English Lit lessons, and then learning the notes off by heart. I had no opinion of the books myself because I didn't understand them, but the teacher certainly had many opinions.
I don't think that finding English Lit harder now makes you bad at relationships/friendships. They're two different things.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
You're welcome. English Lit is a challenging subject.
PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.
I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.
