In almost all of my appointments I get so anxious I physically cannot speak at all, which makes the appointment a complete waste of time. Sometimes I dissoicate badly too so that doesn't help. It's frustrating because these are people that I trust, on a logical level, but I just terrified of what they can do to me (namely sectionning and such). I also normally get so anxious that I forget everything I was supposed to say. If I do speak I speak to quietly that they struggle to hear me which leaves them and me frustrated because it's taken so much for me to speak at all but they can't even hear what I'm saying. I have no anxiety meds or PRN and no way of getting any. I think I also want to appear like I am completely fine, despite them being MH appointments, and hate showing people that anything is wrong which automatically rules out speaking of any kind.
Does anyone else have similar issues? Does anything help?
You've probably already tried this, but taking along a list of notes can help.
The first thing might be to try and explain to them what you've told us here, that you're scared of sectioning.
Hey hun,
I get like that alot with my psych; that i get so nervous and start sweating and getting really agitated that nothing comes out of my mouth when i try to speak. Now a days; i try to write everythign i want to tell him about whats going on, on a piece of paper and just hand it to him. I also find that when he asks questions, its easier for me to answer when im not looking directly at him. Is there someone you trust that could come to your appointments... Friends, family, CPN? My CPN comes to all my appointments now as my psych says that im responsive when hes around so obviously i trust him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stellata
... you're scared of sectioning.
This is a good point. Explain that you find it hard to open up to them as your scared to tell them the truth in case they put you into hospital or section you. Once I managed to clear that up with my CPN and he said his views with regards to me being in hospital it made me trust him sooooo much more :)
Hope you find a more comfortable ground to be more open at the mh appointments xxx
Ballerina123 - My lovely superstar
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When I have felt like this in the past I have written a letter about what I want to talk about and how I am feeling and how I find/am finding it hard to stay out loud.
Then just hand it over and then even if you still can't speak at least you have said anything your need to. X
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I can relate to this! I get extremely anxious during my appointments and tend to wring my hands, dig my nails in myself and just can't bring myself to talk. I've even had psychs refuse to work with me because they know it could take months to get me to speak haha. I think, like a few others have mentioned, writing a letter is a good idea. I've done this in the past and found it to be a good way of getting my point across clearly. I find that doing practical things during appointments helps a lot. Rather than sitting in a room together where I'll just freeze up, my OT take me for walks or to get a cup of tea or sometimes we'll just drive around in the car so that it's a lot less formal. There's even a pool table at my unit that the therapists use to get patients to talk! Could you ask about trying something like that? I think it's good that you can recognise what it is about your appointments that makes you anxious, do you think you could write it down in a letter for your professional(s) to read?
I am the exac same way. As said above not physically sitting in a chair and actually moving and doing something while trying to open up takes a lot of the stress of yourself. I find this works. Also if you have any fidgets that you can play with in your hands . Examples: rock, cube square, string, squishy animals, or evening coloring/doodling. Explain that this will help you to a therapist first as yPu don't want to give a wrong impression. But seriously I find this helps a lot !!! In the 5 years I have been in the system I have not looked one professional in the eye. You are not alone but it's very important you communicate somehow to your therapist that you have a lot of troubles talking and maybe you can set up a little challenge for yourself. By first telling your therapist x y and z is how I respond to questions ( ex. Sweating, shakes, by talking at all) and by asking me/ doing " a b and c" is how you can get me out of that response. Does this make sense? It works really well for me. I know it's really tough love. I really do.
Last edited by nikki1922 : 18-08-2012 at 04:01 AM.
I did actually write a letter and give it to my SW once and it worked quite well. I think part of the problem is that this is the dynamic that's been created now; I don't speak. They are used to that. I'm used to that. I think that maybe at the beginning of appointments I should say there are things I want to talk about. Sometimes it seems pointless for me to speak about things that I know there are no solutions to and that they can't do anything about but I guess it means they never know what's going on...
You've probably already tried this, but taking along a list of notes can help.
The first thing might be to try and explain to them what you've told us here, that you're scared of sectioning.
The thing is is that they think sectionning is neccessary with me sometimes so they could reassure me that they wouldn't section me if I was safe but they would if they needed to, which is what I'm terrified of. I'll try taking notes with me :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by tinkles
Hey hun,
I get like that alot with my psych; that i get so nervous and start sweating and getting really agitated that nothing comes out of my mouth when i try to speak. Now a days; i try to write everythign i want to tell him about whats going on, on a piece of paper and just hand it to him. I also find that when he asks questions, its easier for me to answer when im not looking directly at him. Is there someone you trust that could come to your appointments... Friends, family, CPN? My CPN comes to all my appointments now as my psych says that im responsive when hes around so obviously i trust him.
This is a good point. Explain that you find it hard to open up to them as your scared to tell them the truth in case they put you into hospital or section you. Once I managed to clear that up with my CPN and he said his views with regards to me being in hospital it made me trust him sooooo much more :)
Hope you find a more comfortable ground to be more open at the mh appointments xxx
Thank you. My SW is one of the people I'm terrified talking to.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoAngel
I get so nervous too. I write things down I want to bring up so I have planned topics and know what I want to say.
Thanks!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ballerina123
When I have felt like this in the past I have written a letter about what I want to talk about and how I am feeling and how I find/am finding it hard to stay out loud.
Then just hand it over and then even if you still can't speak at least you have said anything your need to. X
I think I will try that, but would it be weird doing it every week when there are only little ongoing things happening?
Quote:
Originally Posted by WelcomeToMyLife
I can relate to this! I get extremely anxious during my appointments and tend to wring my hands, dig my nails in myself and just can't bring myself to talk. I've even had psychs refuse to work with me because they know it could take months to get me to speak haha. I think, like a few others have mentioned, writing a letter is a good idea. I've done this in the past and found it to be a good way of getting my point across clearly. I find that doing practical things during appointments helps a lot. Rather than sitting in a room together where I'll just freeze up, my OT take me for walks or to get a cup of tea or sometimes we'll just drive around in the car so that it's a lot less formal. There's even a pool table at my unit that the therapists use to get patients to talk! Could you ask about trying something like that? I think it's good that you can recognise what it is about your appointments that makes you anxious, do you think you could write it down in a letter for your professional(s) to read?
Sorry you suffer with this too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azmodan
I get this too, I think it's probably the case with most MH patients. Perfectly normal! *hugs*
Thank you x
Quote:
Originally Posted by nikki1922
I am the exac same way. As said above not physically sitting in a chair and actually moving and doing something while trying to open up takes a lot of the stress of yourself. I find this works. Also if you have any fidgets that you can play with in your hands . Examples: rock, cube square, string, squishy animals, or evening coloring/doodling. Explain that this will help you to a therapist first as yPu don't want to give a wrong impression. But seriously I find this helps a lot !!! In the 5 years I have been in the system I have not looked one professional in the eye. You are not alone but it's very important you communicate somehow to your therapist that you have a lot of troubles talking and maybe you can set up a little challenge for yourself. By first telling your therapist x y and z is how I respond to questions ( ex. Sweating, shakes, by talking at all) and by asking me/ doing " a b and c" is how you can get me out of that response. Does this make sense? It works really well for me. I know it's really tough love. I really do.
Yes I do end up fiddling a lot! My therapist and I do something like this and it works well. Not sure how to coach my GP & SW into this.
hi, everybody has put good replies, just wanted to throw in my two cents :)
I've thought before that there's no point in saying something because my doc can't fix it, but I think it's important to say it anyway. Sometimes, my doc actually can do something about it, and even if she can't, she has good feedback for me on the issue.
I tend to dissociate during MH sessions sometimes too. Now, I hold onto something I can fidget with that will ground me. For me, I have a Tangle that I like. It gives me something to focus on when I get really anxious and I have something to do with my hands :)
I know this sounds kind of too simple, but I would just be up-front about how you don't talk a lot in sessions. I've done that before to get a point across. For example, when there was something really important I wanted to tell my doc last week, I said "I know I usually wait until the last minute to say anything, but I wanted to be sure to tell you this." My doc responded well to that. I have a hard time with not trying to put on a good front for my doc too.
I'm sure you'll work out your own unique solution too :) *hugs*
I saw my SW and managed to get through the whole appointment saying everything I needed to I think it's hard with my SW and GP because they are basically pointless appointments so I don't see much point in speaking to them :/ at least in comparison with other appointments I have.
I think it's hard with my SW and GP because they are basically pointless appointments so I don't see much point in speaking to them :/ at least in comparison with other appointments I have.