Okay I'm going to be going back to school in just under a month. My friend from school however managed to work out I was a self-harm and basically took one of my least favourite approaches about it. She partially attempted to do the "therapist" sort of approach, followed by the joking one. She then decided that I just plan out needed help, and by help I mean she planned to drag me to the head of my year and make me tell her. She however has at least a nice-ish idea in that she understands my side and why I'm not prepared to ask for help. Personally I didn't even want her knowing I did this to myself, let alone to do anything about it. She found out nearing the end of last term, but with all her course work and things she completely forgot to actually enforce the idea.
Over the holiday so far me and my family really haven't got on and my mind has started to play some really cruel tricks on me, amoung other things that have occured. I've basically relapsed. I don't honestly feel I'm ready for help, let alone for my family to find out I do this. But if she even finds out something not as serious as my sleeping habits getting worse she will go to the head of year. I'm seriously worried that she will seek the help for me that I don't want, but at the same time I'm completely aware that its a possibility.
I was just wondering if there was any advice on what to do in that situation because I haven't a clue. I'm aware my family will have to know and things like that because I'm only 15 (or 16 depending if she realizes in under 3 months or not), but I would like to know what is likely to happen from my school. This has happened to me before, but because I shrugged it off because it was back when I had just started and the teachers trusted me more than the student who told them I don't have any experience on what happens after. My head of year really trusts this student, and because of an event thats happened recently (won't explain its a family issue) that she knows about I'm going to be fighting a losing arguement. So yeah basically what is likely to happen.
Thanks in advance
You're better than this. Breathe in. Breathe out. It'll be okay. I promise. Just don't forget to smile :)
The funny thing is,
nobody really ever knows how much
anybody is hurting.
We could be standing next to somebody,
who is completely broken,
and we wouldn't even know.
i'm not from the UK, so i don't know exactly what would happen... however, perhaps it would be better if you told the school or your parents yourself. i was in the position of being forced to tell my parents, and it was much more difficult for me and for them than if i'd told them on my own terms...
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
I think by law your school with have to tell your parents. I was 16 when I told my course manager at college and i thought because I was 16 she could keep it to herself but she told me because I was under the age of 18 and i think given what I had told her , that by law she had to tell them. It is never easy telling anyone really. But if i could go back I would rather have told my parents myself rather then them find out through a phone call from my course manager/ or Head of Year.
They maybe a slight chance that your school might consider referring you to the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS)
I'm from the US so I'm not really sure, but my school's policy is that they're going to tell someone (probably parents) if you're currently in danger of being hurt, including self harm. When my counselor told my parents she also said there was a moral thing in that she wouldn't be able to live with herself if I'd done myself serious harm and she hadn't told my mom to watch out for me.
My parents didn't react well at first and it was so much worse, and then a social worker got involved who didn't understand cutting in the slightest... so triggering. Those were a few weeks that I wouldn't relive just because people were told before I was ready to say it on my own terms. Maybe you could explain to your friend that it would make it worse, and maybe try talking to a school counselor or someone, if that's possible? There are some free counseling services in my area too, so maybe look into that to appease your friend? I'm really sorry this is happening & good luck.
You need to tell your friend to back off and support you rather than telling teachers when you're not ready.
If you friend does tell then you'll be called in for a meeting and your parents will be informed. The school has to do this due to child protection laws.
Its the worst way for any family to find out, and its the same situation that happened to me when I was your age and I wish, I wish, I wish I could go back and sit my folks down and have a quiet conversation in my own time on my own terms rather than what happened. As you can imagine any parent finding out this way feels increadibly hurt and angry that their child couldn't come to them and tell them and its a horrible situation to be in.
While I do strongly reccomend you get help Sweetie, and telling your parents comes into this, you need to do it in your own time and in a situation you have control over rather than being forced in to it by a phone call from the school as its pushes the problem futher underground and makes you want to be more secretive about it.
Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici.
By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.
Even if your friend tries to force you to get help. if you don't want it and are not willing to accept it. it won't work and will be a waste of your and everyone else's time. Soo if you feel like you're ready to get help, maybe decide how you're going to ask for it and think about what you would like to help you. Your school might refer you to CAMHS who will assesss you and decide how they think they can help you.
Let the Force be with you
I'm not short, I'm space efficient
