Do you sometimes miss hospital?

[justapuppetonastring]

Im not sure why, but I miss the hospital where I spent my first admission.

Becuase I was there 16 month I got very close to the staff and it was like my home for nearly a year and a half. I miss them all... I bet half of them dont even work there still but it doesnt stop me thinking about it all.

I dont know if this sounds all wierd and not right, just wondering if anyone else feels the same?

I dont miss the other hospitals Ive been in over the years, just this hospital and this particular admission. I went through a lot with the staff.

(I havent posted in a while, not sure if anyone remembers me, do you mind me coming back?)

[xxhappydaysxx]

Hey,

I haven't been in hospital but I can relate to how and why you are missing it. You spent a long time there, so its not surprising that you got close to the staff etc, and felt safe there.
It may be useful to look at how much the staff did for you, and turn it around as a chapter of your life which really helped you, and whereby you made some successful relationships. In time, I am sure you will be able to move on, just might take some time.
Just wanted to reply to you, but I am sure others here will have had the same experience so can give you some advice too. x

[justapuppetonastring]

The thing is its been almost 6 years since I was there... Its not even recent.

[PassedExpectations]

i don't miss inpatient at all, but there are definitely days when i miss the residential... really i miss the people, not the actual place. and i miss the feeling of a group that i had, the shared experience and understanding.

[Bellatrix]

Imiss the safety I felt when i was there - which is why i'd never go back unless forced, because it would not be good for me to keep hiding behind a locked door. Hospital gives you a safety net, a constant support. I'd say it's quite normal to miss it.

[justapuppetonastring]

Quote:

Originally Posted by PassedExpectations

i don't miss inpatient at all, but there are definitely days when i miss the residential... really i miss the people, not the actual place. and i miss the feeling of a group that i had, the shared experience and understanding.

Yeah, similar feeling.

I hated the other times I have been IP but it was just this one admission.

[Cedrus]

I can understand. I've had quite a few admissions and some hospitals were absolutely horrendous!

I do, however, miss one particular ward. It's not the ward itself though, it's the staff. I was really really unwell when I was there and spent 7ish months on the ward, obviously i built up rapports with the nurses and some were really nice. Towards the end of my admission i was well, just had to stay there whilst waiting for a place in supported housing and I got to have laughs with the nurses and built friendships with the patients (i'm still in contact with one) there were some elderly people on the ward who were real characters, I took two patients out to carnival, would help one with her hair, one would play the guitar to me etc. Of course, there are bad memories from hospital, but good ones too. The last ward I was on had nice nurses too and would talk to me about all sorts of things and really supported me. When I left the ward after that 7 month admission my key nurse bought me a vase and nice dish as I was moving into supported housing.

16 months is a long time to spend in hospital, I think its natural that from time to time you miss the staff and think about it. Thats my opinion anyway.

So erm, yeah, I miss some of the staff, but not actually being a patient in hospital and all the constraints etc.

How are you doing now btw?

[justapuppetonastring]

Cedrus - when I left we had a party with food and cards and presents off both staff and patients. I still have the cards and read them from time to time. They helped me so so much and like you built up amazing relationships with some that obviously had to suddenly end.

Im doing quite well now thank you, I have good and bad days but have been out of hospitals for 3 years now.

[Cedrus]

Oh wow! out of hospital for 3 years! thats a real achievement :) what do you think has helped you stay out? If i can be nosey, what is your diagnosis? and how old were you when you had the 16 month admission? sorry for my questions, im just curious.

i went to a theraputic community when i was 16/17, spent from september to november the following year there. they used to have leaving parties when a member of the community was coming close to discharge. I left rather abruptly though, i got poorly with psychosis and my therapist had retired so i had a new one, it wasn't working out, the community meetings were causing me panic attacks, i felt out of place in the community etc so i left on the sly, lol.

I hope you can continue to make progress with your life :)

[justapuppetonastring]

I think ive been so focussed on college and now uni I have been very busy, also my family are amazing and will try everything before an admission. I also have really good support with CPN, social worker, and what they call a 'gud bud' which is basically soemone who takes me out. My last admission meant I had to leave college and I had to rejoin another class a year later. This was so hard and I swore to myself I would get through my uni course of three years with no interuptions.

My diagnosis was for a lot of years paranoid schizophrenia, but was changed to schizoaffective. Its a long story but it was changed in my last admission without seeing a doctor through out the whole admission and with no talks to any of the nurses. I was only in for a few weeks and im not too sure a new diagnosis can be made like that... I dont know.

My first admission I was 16, I wen in on the 1st of december and left 16 month later in April.

[Cedrus]

yeah, being busy can be very helpful! but too much stress, for me anyway, can trigger a relapse, so im finding a balance at the moment.

i was wondering you diagnosis to understand what symptoms you've had to contend with. don't worry about the schizoaffective diagnosis as long as you are having the right treatment :)

[[Luna]]

I missed hospital at first but now, after a year out, I don't miss it at all.

[Ellyx]

I miss being safe, the routine and being looked after in general. I don't really miss any of the people though.

[Ballerina123]

This is normal. Especially after long admissions.
I had a 6month admission 4years ago and at times, usually when I'm struggling, i think "if I was there again it would be ok". It was a safe place where there was help at hand always and everyone accepted you had issues without judgement.
I also made a lot of friends there.

I was in an out of hospital a lot in 2008 and 2009. Too much really for 2 years. I think I was institutionised and I was only ok when I was in hospital. It was a safe place for my mind.

Some of my hospital admissions have helpped a lot so there are aspects I have liked even though I don't like the thought of a re-admission (which I have been told is likely)

There has also been aspects of hospital I have hated too. Which is why I am going to prove the system wrong and have no more admission.

[justapuppetonastring]

i also dread a re admission and have swore to myself never again after being in and out for years and so far ive been out 3 years! i hate all of the adult wards ive been in all 4 have been awful.

[when.will.it.end]

You've done really well to be out three years.

I used to miss the adolescent ward I was on but not anymore, it's complicated. I miss how containing hospital can be and the routine and lack of stress from daily life. If I'd spent that long in there though I'm sure I would feel the same. My longest admission was 2 months and I still find the transition hard.

[Buttons.]

I don't miss the last hospital I was in (although it did do some good things for me) but I still miss the adolescent unit I was in nearly 6 years ago despite knowing that the staff and patients are completely different now. I think it was because it had a more 'family' feel to it maybe.

As said hospital can be a little addictive because you become accustomed to this safe little bubble do avoiding admission where possible is probably wise, though of course if you need hospital for heavens' sake take it if it's offered. *offers penny's worth and backs slowly out of thread* ;-p

[Steel Maiden]

I got along well with the staff on the secure unit (I've been there five times). And there was this one nurse on the regular acute ward who had training in autism who was really helpful - she would have one hour long one to ones with me, making plans and lists for things, and discussing my anxieties. She told me that she even educated the other nurses about autism, which helped them to understand that my meltdowns on the ward weren't always psychosis-related.

I have written cards to the staff on the secure unit to say thanks, because they were so helpful. Once I popped in to the reception to say hi and the staff were really excited to see me doing well.

I've been out of hospital for 10 months now and I wouldn't want to go back - but I might send a Christmas card to the secure unit this December :)

[Cacoethes]

hey Michelle!!

you are not alone in this, i would say it was quite normal.

when people (staff in this case) see you go through and help you through such bad times, its normal to feel some attachment to them, especially being there for so long, you see these people most days (depending on shifts), and they know lots about you, you confide in them etc

you are doing brilliantly, and maybe because you are doing so well, you are clear minded enough now to think back to that time in this way.
( i may be talking complete rubbish, but just an idea!)

x

[whirlpools]

I don't miss acute wards, but miss my time in residential. I remember playing murderball down the corridors, red hot river and having raves in people's bedrooms, as well as overnight 'sleeping support', cooking meals and playing rounders outside (only, it was against health and safety to run, so we all had to walk) and trying to pick ourselves up in plastic bags whilst wearing paper bedpans on our heads...

God, I really miss it actually.