Feeling urges, coping techniques aren't working *may be triggering*

[AshIvy]

I had been SI free since before the New Year, and had a slip up last month. Then a couple weeks free and slipped up last week. I feel very triggered right now. I'm feeling vulnerable and angry at myself, and at the world in general. I've been coping ok the last couple of days by doodling, playing games, helping others on here, etc. I tried reading and I can't focus right now, so tthat just upset me worse. Today I tried gaming, aand it just didn't help. I triedd doodling, but everything looks wrong. I am too sick/sore (I haave a busted knee) to go for a walk or do aany yoga, and my husband and Sis (the two people I usually talk to when I'm upset) are both busy with their own things and don't have time to talk to me right now.

I'm hoping that just writing this post will help keep me centered, but I'm scared I won't make it through the night without SHing.

PS- sorry for double letters and typos...When I get bad I shake a little and my phone isn't very forgiving in that regard.

[PassedExpectations]

how are you doing? its been about a half hour i think...

maybe you could try journaling about what is causing you to feel so angry at the world at the moment... venting can be a big releif sometimes.

try to be gentle with yourself. i know it is hard to do when you're feeling angry and disappointed at yourself, but acting on those feelings will generally cause people to do things that lead to more regret and anger.... sometimes i set out to do the opposite of what my anger wants me to do to myself.

[AshIvy]

So far I'm doing ok. My mom needed me to help her run an errand, so that kept me busy for about an hour. Then I took a nap. I'm still feeling less than happy, but I no longer feel such a strong urge to hurt myself.

Journaling sounds like a really good idea. Thanks for that. I used to journal, but I had kind of forgotten.

Thanks for checking on me.