|
Contains illicit drugs - Rock Bottom
I finished treatment about 3 months ago. After years of abusing any substance I could get my hand on I finally made the first step to start the journey that is recovery. In treatment I finally came to the conclusion and accepted the fact that I am a drug addict. But really I didn't fully grasp what that meant untill the last few weeks.
I relapsed about a month and a half after treatment. It got bad so quickly. I thought i could give it another shot and that things would work out this time but i was so wrong. The drugs just arent doing anything for me anymore. There is no buzz.
This weekend I ended up at a music festival in the Irish countryside. For me it was a 3 day binge. I drank 5 litres of cider, a shoulder of vodka, took 15 ecstasy tablets, 5 tabs of acid and snorted about 2 grams of coke. The funny thing was I never got high. It made me realise so much. It made me think to myself wtf am I doing? I can't live this life anymore. Theres nothing good for me in a bottle or a pill. I have to make big changes. I know what I have to do.
As horrible as last weekend was I am so grateful for the experience. I feel like I finally know what it's like to hit rock bottom. I feel like I'm really ready to live a normal life clean and sober. I'm so grateful for the support I have. I'd be so lost without those who care for me and am so grateful they still haven't given up. I can't wait to make them all proud of me.
Also on a completely different note I found out earlier today that In 8 months I'm gonna be a daddy. This is such a big motivation for me to do the right thing.
Wish me luck ! Much love to everyone on this forum. Its helped me so much over the last few years in loads of different ways. If anyone ever needs to talk feel free to PM me anytime.
Remember, things can really get better if you believe in yourself and are willing to do whatever it takes. I hope someone got something out of this post.
Love,
Jack
xxx
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference"
I think everyone can take something from this prayer.
|
