Help, please?

[Prozac]

Hello. I'm 20 years old and live in England.
This is my first post and I'm sorry if it's a bit disjointed!

I visited the Children & Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS) for a few years before I was 18. Just before I was 18 I was given 20mg of prozac (later increased to 40mg daily) and my mood improved. As my mood had improved, I decided against getting adult treatment and just continued with my medication. I think that, for me, therapy made me think more about my problems and just made me worse in the end.

Now it is 2 years on and I am wondering whether I did the right thing...

When I was at CAMHS it was for depression though I never got a explicit diagnosis. However, I did describe my mood fluctuating from highs to lows (I am positive I was having hypomanic episodes). I have looked through correspondence from my psych to my GP and there is no diagnosis made, just concerns about fluctuating moods. When I was at CAMHS I was asked if I thought I had bipolar, I said no, not knowing about Bipolar II. Now I am positive I have it.

Since I've been on prozac, I've not had any of these hypomanic episodes - could the prozac be helping this? I do sometimes experience serious irritability. Is this a sign of hypomania? I have read that irritability can be a sign, but could someone please explain to me what this irritability is like?

My mood is a lot better than it was, but recently I have become concerned that my mood isn't feeling 'right' and it's got me thinking about my diagnosis. I DO want a correct diagnosis as this is something that I think is going to bother me for the whole of my life. However, as I've said, I think that in the long run, therapy made me worse, so I don't really want to get back into that.

Any advice would be much appreciated!
Thank you.

[Colour Blind]

Sometimes it can feel therapy is making you worse, because, it possibly is. It drags up all the things that you never want to think about, but, when you persevere, it has been proven to help in the long run. There are also dozens of types of therapy that work differently for different people so don't write it off from your experience of one particular type.

I would suggest, in the first instance, you discuss your concerns with your GP and they can refer you to whoever they feel appropriate.

Take Care.

[Stellata]

Stuffing down your problems and not thinking about them can actually backfire - and even be the cause of irritability and other mood instability.
Therapy can be very painful at times, but it does help - if you find what works for you, and work with someone you trust and feel safe with.

[Heaven20]

Therapy is the most horrific but helpful thing I can ever imagine, It's hard to explain... but it is well worth trying and sticking with, there are no quick fixes, what do you want to gain by a diagnosis?

I had to wait seven years to get mine, I cried when I got it, and it changed nothing. It's just a label sweetie, and that's not what's important. Though I can understand you wanting it :)

If you need anyone to talk to PM me okay, :) ? xx