Mentally ill parents. Support and advice please.

[Ballerina123]

So my mum is depressed. She keeps talking about running away.

She keeps saying things like
"I know everyone hates me",
"I'm not a bad person you know".
Yet no one is saying she is bad so it makes no sense for her to say things like this.

She spoke to her sister (my aunt) about wanting to run away and my aunty told her to see her doctor. So she got really angry shouting "I'm no psychiatric"

She then came into the living room where I was watch a film and started saying the same sort of thing about how she has done nothing wrong and I reassured her that I know she has not done anything wrong.
She said "you all think that I am a drunk but I am not I only drink to numb the pain" (i think she drinks too much but she is not an alcoholic....yet)
I said "do you not think that that is bad?"
she said "everyone at work does it"
I highly doubt everyone at work does do it.

I suggested that she go see her GP. She got really defensive and was like:
"why so she can give me more drugs" (she has taken anti depressants for years)
I said "well yes if it helps, or she could refer you for therapy"
She said "I don't need therapy this is all your dads fault" (evey time she is like this it is always someone else's fault, granted my dad is an ideot but I think it's got more to do with her coping skills than his actions)
She continued to say "every one thinks I have a psychiatric problem I don't my life is just ****"
Then she started crying.
I said "if you don't have a mental health problem then why you getting so upset"

She couldn't anwser.

There was a long silence then I went to my room because I really didn't know what else to say.


Anyone experience similar on a regular basis? How do you cope?

I feel like I should do something but she won't accept she has a problem so I don't know what I can do?
She has been like this my whole life. She has normal periods but then it all flares up again. It's never ending.

[PassedExpectations]

it sounds like she feels like having a mental health problem would reflect badly on her, or be really negative, or mean that she is weak, that people wouldn't accept her... maybe you could subtly let her know that it would be ok if she needed help, and that lots of people struggle at times (the whole 1 in 4 people will have a diagnosable mental illness at some point in their life) and that you really just want her to feel better...

[HildaOgden]

would you offer to go to the doctor's with her to give her some support and so you can may be help explain how things are?? do you think your mum might go with that?
I know it's really hard having parents with mh problems, my dad when he was alive was depressed and an alcoholic (he wouldn't seek treatment) and my mum is a depressive (it's taken me a year to convince her she needs to try a new anti-d because she's been struggling, finally she's just changed anti-d).
It's hard admitting something is wrong. We can perceive ourselves as being weak or a failure, especially if the person is supposed to be in the traditional care giving role of a mother or father.
Keep posting!
XXXX

[Danceintherain804]

I do know what it's like to have parents with mental health problems. My dad is depressed and my mom has depression, agoraphobia, anxiety, and I feel like she may be bipolar but that's not diagnosed or anything..
I also have a best friend with a depressed dad and bipolar mom and another best friend with depressed parents and a somewhat abusive father, so hearing this doesn't shock me although it does still make me sad.

My friends and I have dealt with similar outbursts from our parents and it is very hard to cope with - especially after hearing it your whole life. You have to rely on friends and honestly get some alone time AWAY from your family. go to your room and separate yourself from the unstable things your parents are saying. You have to remember that it's not your problem.

Honestly, there's not much you can do to help your mom... I'm dealing with the same thing right now. If she won't accept help you just kind of have to separate yourself from her problems.. And it's really hard, but you don't have the power to change her... You know?

PM me if you ever want someone to talk to <3 take care! <3

[Colour Blind]

I grew up with a stepdad who had major depression and my father had PTSD for a while too.

It's a really tough situation, because, they are the parent and you are the child, and there's a huge amount of belief that the child should not become the carer, and often the parent will be reluctant to accept advice from their child in this situation.

I guess, what I'm trying to say, is you can only do as much for them as they allow you to. Not that it makes it easier to live with in the slightest.

Thinking of you.

[Ballerina123]

Thank you for all your replies. It is helpful to know I am not alone but also sad to hear you all struggle so much with your family.

Thanks you thank you thank you xxxx