A nurse with self harm scars on her arms.

[Ballerina123]

In September I am starting my nurse training to be a mental health nurse.

I have old self harm scars on my arms. They are not very bad but it is obvious what they are off. It has been about 3years since I last self harmed and they are all completely healed.

If you were admitted to a psych hospital or seen by a psych nurse in the community/CMHT and she had self harm scars in her arms what would you think?
Would it trigger you? Should I keep them covered?

Also if I get my arm out what do you think my reply should be if a patient say "did you use to self harm?" or asks "how did you get over yourself harm?" I am inclined to tell the truth because I care that patients get the right information.

However I know that many people who are very sick and self harming may find the scars triggering. When I was IP a few patients really kicked off about other patients showing their scars.

Finally if I show them I know paitient will talk to each other about them. I think I'm ok with this but do you think they could use it against me?

Please be honest. I want to be a good nurse so it is good to know how my apperience could effect the care I give to people. X

[Pi.R^2]

Aww, bless you, that is such a thoughtful post. [like honestly, not trying to be patronising, I think it's really lovely the amount of thought you've put into it!].

I don't think anyone would really be triggered by three year old scars, though I guess people can correct me if I'm wrong?

I think you should maybe be wary of divulging too much personal information to patients if they ask questions, because yes, I think they could possibly use it against you, or it could at least make situations awkward. So if you're willing to confirm that they are self harm scars, maybe have a planned response about recovering and stuff, but be prepared to lay down boundaries of certain things you won't discuss?

Also, it might be good to check it out with your tutor once you get to uni, to see if there are any standard guidelines about it?

In other news, ALL the luck for nursing! You're gonna be great!!

[pandachan]

I think personally that it would comfort me to see that as a patient, and that I would trust you more as my nurse. I know that all people are different, but when I see someone with self harm scars, especially when I am currently self-harming, I feel this instant closeness to them, as if they possibly have a slight chance of understanding who I am. Even if they can't see mine, I just have this instant brief connection where I feel like... not completely alone? Anyway this is my own brain-babble.

I think it's very awesome of you to be mindful of this.

If nothing else it shows that you have been there, to some extent, and you have overcome it. It's inspiring, and it's honest.

Also, congratulations! That is very awesome that you are going to be doing that. Buena suerte~ <3

[[Frostbitten]]

When I was IP, one of the classroom assistants in the hospital school has very obvious SI scars on her arms. As far as I know, no one mentioned them, and no one cared to be honest! We just accepted it, and I think that the patients were able to talk to her a lot more and feel less isolated and more hopeful about SI because we knew that she'd understand, unlike some of the other members of staff who were 'textbook taught'. It also helped us to see that you can still get a job and have a life etc even if you have scars.

I'm hoping to be a nurse, too (although I'm going into the adult general medical branch) and have SI scars. I've spoken to others (lecturers, practitioners, nurses etc) and they've always suggested honesty without too much self disclosure if you're asked, so "yes I used to self harm, but I've found other ways of coping" or something to that effect. I'm not sure whether admitting to ongoing SI would be professional, but accepting it as part of your past can give a more "human" aura to you, rather than a faceless medication dispenser or whatever :)

I guess it is important not to stigmatise SI, so if you feel there is an issue surrounding your scars with a patient, it might be an idea to discuss it with them?

[FightingButterfly]

I self harked from the ages 14-15, very badly to the extent of needing skin grafts. I'm now 3025, and they have healed well but if you look closely, it's obvious. To me, I look at my arms and I see badly scarred arms. But I have been told by people who have met ,e that they didn't notice for days, weeks, even months. Even psychiatrists who treated me for my anorexia didn't even notice, and I don't think to mention it anymore, because it was such a long time ago and it's must not an issue anymore.

I studied at medical school for four years. Unfortunately I had to drop out because I became very sick from the anorexia and was no longer able to continue. But before I started I had concerns about my arms, because in general healthcare the policy is you have to wear clothes above elbow for hygiene reasons, so there was no way I could hide them. And I had his my arms ever since I was 14, ashamed of my issues.

But I went to uni and decided F it. If Leo's had an issue, that was their problem, not mine. And no one did! And when I was working in hospital, actually no one said anything. Maybe I had a few comments from drs, and when they realised what the scars were from, they were the ones to be embarrassed, not me. When I worked in paediatrics, they were some pretty vulnerable kids there. I also came across people in a&e and medical assessment wards who had self harmed or taken overdoses. In all occasions, actually the response was fine. They didn't ask about my own personal circumstances, on the whole. But they did feel more able to open up to me, much more than any other member of staff. Which really helped the drs, and the patient. I felt useful, I felt helpful, and I felt like my experience made me a better dr. And when I was asked, I was able to honestly say that yes, I had gone through some difficult experiences as a young teenager, but that I had been able to get over them with help. And that they could to. The greatest you can ever give anyone, is hope. Good luck with your nursing future. You'll be great xx

[[SundayGirl]]

Congrats on being self harm free for 3 years & for making it as a nurse! Thats amazing!

My answer if i were a patient would be HELL NO it would not trigger me. Id see you as inspiration. To know somebody went through what you are going through & to come out the other side is something id be looking up to! Infact, knowing you are a nurse with a past like that.. i already look up to you. It shows you really understand how they feel.

xx

[[Awakening]]

I think you'll probably find that there's different situations in which to give different answers. Some of the more 'manipulative' patients (for want of a better word!) may use it to try to gain an upper hand, in which case you'd definitely want to be wary of how much you divulge. Others might be looking for guidance, but may become very attached to you etc. Others probably won't mention them (perhaps the more socially-coping ones?) but may trust you more seeing them.

This is definitely something I would speak to mentors and tutors about, they will have experience how much is safe and appropriate to divulge. I don't think it's necessary to hide your scars, I think it's important not to hide ourselves from those around us and to be as transparent as possible without endangering yourself (just my thoughts). I think you'll probably be surprised at how few comments you get about them. People have their own stuff going on, and don't see what they don't want to see, and if they do society has done this 'helpful' thing of raising us not to talk about such things!

(My experience as a student midwife is that no one I've ever cared for has mentioned my scars, including my general nursing placement with children, elderly and all in between... but not mental health) xx

[Meganrose]

Quote:

Originally Posted by pandachan

I think personally that it would comfort me to see that as a patient, and that I would trust you more as my nurse. I know that all people are different, but when I see someone with self harm scars, especially when I am currently self-harming, I feel this instant closeness to them, as if they possibly have a slight chance of understanding who I am. Even if they can't see mine, I just have this instant brief connection where I feel like... not completely alone? Anyway this is my own brain-babble.

I think it's very awesome of you to be mindful of this.

If nothing else it shows that you have been there, to some extent, and you have overcome it. It's inspiring, and it's honest.

Also, congratulations! That is very awesome that you are going to be doing that. Buena suerte~ <3

This! Definitely. I would definitely feel more comforted by it, to know someone who was there to help me, I had some connection with. Hospitals can be so isolating, and you can feel a million miles away from doctors and nurses, and something little like that would definitely make them seem more human to me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by [SundayGirl]

Congrats on being self harm free for 3 years & for making it as a nurse! Thats amazing!

And this! :)

[Leo Pard]

I went to A & E for stitches once (well many times, but this particular time), the doctor told me about her brother who had self harmed and stuff. She was probably the nicest doctor that I met in A & E when I had to go because of self harm.
I think it was just the fact that she understood. Granted, not first hand, but still... I recon it will be fine. Good luck!

[ChocolateMarvel]

You have had some good replies... and now time for mine :p

I would just say, be situation wary- judge each situation on its own- or if you do not have the information to do that, use the people that do, mentors, tutors, supervisors!

Its great that you are so self aware and I think that your thoughtfulness alone will help you be a great MH nurse! <3

[Aubergine]

Hey.

If I saw a MH nurse with self-harm scars on her arms, I would be put at ease as I would feel as though she might have a bit more empathy with my situation. I would be aware though that no two people who self harm are the same, and it may be that she doesn't get me at all!

That said, it won't be the same for everyone and I think you'd be right to reassess the situation with each new person you come across. As has already been mentioned, some people may try and use it in a negative way.

I dislike people seeing my scars, mainly because my SH is a very private thing. I feel as though people seeing my scars are seeing a part of me that I would prefer to share only with those close to me. I've done support work for a few years (with people with learning disabilities) and I've never showed anyone my scars. People with learning disabilities can be very impressionable and often have a limited understanding of things, so it hasn't ever felt appropriate.

I think instinct will be quite important with this, and you sound very in touch. Sometimes it will feel right and sometimes it won't.

:)

[PaleMoon]

I am also starting nursing school in the future. Go us! *high five*

I think we as self-harmers overestimate how much people notice our scars. They stand out for us like neon lights, but other people generally aren't interested or even see them.

I'm choosing not to go into mental health because I've been re-traumatized too much in psych hospitals for it to be healthy for me. But I know I'll come across psych patients in the course of my ICU/trauma career, and I think I'll have increased empathy for them, especially suicide attempt patients.

Honestly, other people's scars don't trigger me. As Aubergine says, you seem to be quite aware. You'll know what you need to do in terms of disclosing. And if you feel comfortable, you can ask your charge nurse/nurse manager about a specific patient, and what to do.

Best of luck! :)

[TomiJoseph]

I don't know anything about nursing, but I would say to keep them covered while you're at work, because many people could be triggered by scars. I would also keep personal info to myself, for safety and professional reasons.

Great luck with being a nurse though! You'll be fantastic; it's obvious to see that you care and want to help people <3

[Snow White.]

I think it depends on your scars but there is a chance they could trigger patients, especially ones particularly unwell. Obviously being 3 years free they'd be quite faded but I would still be considerate of it just in case.

Wishing you all the best with it :) xx

[Ballerina123]

Thank you do much for your replies. I appriciate them so much and I feel reassured that most of you would find it easier to talk to me because of my scars.

I currently work in a&e so I know that most people won't mansion my scars but there have been a couple of people who did and it took me by suprise so I kind of wished I'd had a pre- prepared anwser.

I will def talk to my tutors. I may also ask my partner what he thinks.

[Leni]

I wasn't sure about replying because I think what you're doing is great and I didn't want to discourage you. However, I know if I was in hospital and saw a nurse with obvious s/h scars, it would make me extremely uncomfortable. It wouldn't trigger me to want to s/h, but seeing other people's scars does set off all sorts of emotional triggers for me. I wouldn't mention it to the nurse, or judge her, or stare or anything else. I would probably just interact with other nurses instead wherever possible (but then I do have avoidant personality disorder, so avoiding stressors is what I do! ). I definitely wouldn't expect the nurse to cover their scars just because it makes me uncomfortable; the fact that it's an extremely sensitive issue for me is my problem after all.

From the replies I think it's obvious that most people would be fine with it, and some would find it inspiring. I guess I just wanted to reiterate that if people can see your scars, you need to be prepared for all sorts of reactions, some of them bad. I hope that's not too negative - from your posts I think you'll be a great nurse.

[Pi.R^2]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NevadaTanIsLove

I don't know anything about nursing, but I would say to keep them covered while you're at work, because many people could be triggered by scars.

Sorry, but I disagree very strongly. Cover fresh wounds, yeah, but if people are going to be triggered by scars they need to man up. You would never tell someone who had scars from a house fire to cover up at work, just in case someone is triggered by them.

[Leni]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Narcissa

Cover fresh wounds, yeah, but if people are going to be triggered by scars they need to man up.

It's one thing to tell someone generally to 'man up' but would you say the same thing to someone in crisis on a psych ward? Although as I've said, I wouldn't expect the nurse to cover up on my account, I do think obvious self-harm scars are different to scars from an accident. Scars tell a story, and the two examples tell very different ones.

[[Frostbitten]]

Thing is, you can't trigger proof everything, and this is a debate which has been ongoing on this site for years. You do need to be able to cope with seeing scars, SI related or otherwise, in public because well, they're there. While I agree that obvious flouting of scars/drawing attention to them/fresh cuts isn't right, one has a right to feel comfortable displaying scars and shouldn't have to hide them, because that's downright discriminatory tbh. From personal experience, when someone is in absolute crisis in a psych ward, they can often find it hard to see what's going on aound them because their distress is too high.

And if they're 3 years old, they probably aren't as noticeable as you believe them to be; give it time and they'll fade even further :)

[Ballerina123]

Quote:

Originally Posted by [Frostbitten]

Thing is, you can't trigger proof everything, and this is a debate which has been ongoing on this site for years. You do need to be able to cope with seeing scars, SI related or otherwise, in public because well, they're there. While I agree that obvious flouting of scars/drawing attention to them/fresh cuts isn't right, one has a right to feel comfortable displaying scars and shouldn't have to hide them, because that's downright discriminatory tbh. From personal experience, when someone is in absolute crisis in a psych ward, they can often find it hard to see what's going on aound them because their distress is too high.

And if they're 3 years old, they probably aren't as noticeable as you believe them to be; give it time and they'll fade even further :)

This is really helpful and you make some really good points. Thank you.