I hope i've put this in the right place. i'm 27 years old and currently 16 weeks pregnant and recovering self harmer but it has not gone down well with my parents, yes i still live at home. but telling them i am pregnant my parents are kicking me out at the end of the month. so that it will give me time to sort everything out. i wish now that i was not pregnant they have just made me feel 10 times worse. i have an older sister who treats me like i'm a child not a adult living my own life. i know that i can move in with my partner but i just wished that they had taken it a little better. i know that i do not have a job or money, but the pregnancy was an accident, right now i wish that i was not pregnant or have had a termination, but i could not go through that. i just feel like they do not want me here, but that does help how i feel they make me feel like its not worth carrying on. but it not just me now. my dad won't talk to me, my sister just moans and my mum is stuck in the middle. so i have less then a month to sort everything out bills my room. and i just can't deal with it. and i know before long i will end up cutting. but it seems like i have no one to talk to.
rant over
I'm afraid I have no useful advice, just wanted to see how things are since you wrote this and if your parents have calmed down. How do you feel about moving in with your partner? Sorry your family aren't giving you the support you need. Do you see a professional that you can talk to?
I hope you can stay safe. Take care.xx
Last edited by Sketchy : 18-07-2012 at 02:14 PM.
Reason: typo
I am sorry your family treated you like that just cos you are pregnant.. I don't have any advice or wise words but i hope you sort it out and have somewhere safe to live, i know you said you might move in with your partner which is a good idea, can you get benefits? Cos you said you don't have a job or money..
yes things seem to be going better. i found out that the date did not come from my parents but from my older sister, so she will have time to move into my room when she is on holiday. yes i currently get job seekers until 11 weeks before due date, and you still have to look for jobs. my parents have calmed down quite a bit i think a lot of it was shock talking. but my sister won't even talk to me she just pretends i'm not here half the time. and i'm the one that pays for the internet that she spends most of the night on. i use to go to a counsellor but that stop a while ago. when i move in with my partner we will live with his mum and not our own place, she has been the most helpful over the last few days, even his sister thinks my sister should stay out of this as its not her house or business. we where planning for me to move-in in October after our holiday but that's not good enough or fast enough for my sister. i don't drive but my sister does and won't even help me move some items i will have to carry it all in suitcase or boxes across the town. i'm trying at the moment not to harm as well as all the stress that my sister is putting me through.
You partner's mum sounds lovely. Try to think of those responses rather than your sister's. How old is your sister? Sounds like she needs to grow up. Let that be her problem, not yours. Everything going on must be scary, but I do hope you can stay safe and distract yourself.x
my sister is 28 29 this year. she thinks she better than me because she has a job and degree. you say something to her which she does not like an the waterworks appear. my mother in law is the most lovely person i have meet. she even threatened me to take my to my cousin who has a 7 year old to tell me how hard it is, when nobody else in the family knows yet. yet her parents never kicked her out and help with childcare but she does not have an older sister like i have who is just nasty. i think she does not like it that i will move out before her. i'm trying to stay safe, but its getting harder when she is being nasty and talking behind my back to my mum. my mum has accepted the baby and would still want me to visit twice a week when i move. my sister in law suggested i get on the housing list for the local council but they won't re home you until your over 32 weeks and that's only into temp accommodation then you have to move again in 6 months time.
i know this sound wrong but right now i wish i was not pregnant then i will have no worries with all the crap going on. i know that i can still have a termination. but that would break my partners heart. i know i should do what i think is best my if i go down that route i would have to explain to everybody who knows what happened or lie. i feel like i'm being torn in two on one hand i want this baby but not all the problems on the other i think a termination if the right thing to do for my own health. i'm just so confused. i have an appointment on Monday at the hospital about my depression, i know that i have stopped taking my meds but my gp said it would be better in the long run. my appointment is not with the mental health team but with an ob.
Pregnancy is a scary and confusing time and thats when its planned and everything so god knows what your going through. Are you considering a termination because of the circumstances or because you don't want a child? I think thats important to consider as your circumstances can and will change in the future and at that point you might regret the termination. Whereas if its because you truly don't want it then its an option.
As for housing, you can always go on the housing list now and then in the future when you're nearer the top find somewhere with your partner. You don't have to use their option of temp accomodation but just wait at your partners parents until something suitable becomes available. I imagine you'd be quite high on the list quite quickly with a baby.
Have you looked at your benefits options? You will be able to claim more with a baby and also you will be able to get healthy start vouchers for fruit and veg. So any financial situation you are in right now will be eased slightly.
Talk to your partner. This should be a joint decision between the both of you as he is 50% responsible.
You're eligible for a maternity grant from sure start. Are you seeing a midwife? There might be a team/special midwife who deal specifically with people in your circumstances to give you some extra support, or to see you more often considering the extra stress you must be under. Hope it all gets sorted, you've got 1 thing over your sister, you don't have to resort to immature displays to get your own way x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
yes i have a midwife and i have had my first scan. around where i live you see your midwife at ur booking appointment before 10 weeks hen again at 16 weeks and then at 24 weeks. there is no more appointments unless you have a problem with the baby but not for any other reasons. i have an appointment monday at the hospital with a consultant because i have depression but who knows what will happen. i missed my appointment at 16 weeks because i have not been to well so they have arranged to see me at 18 weeks. you see more of your midwife after 24 weeks, about once a month up to 32 weeks then its every two weeks until baby's born. i do want this baby but it think a lot of it is just the stress at the moment. at the moment we have not only the stress from the baby but my partners brothers due in court next month for section 18 which means he could serve life in jail. if you said to my partner six months ago about a baby he said i would have to do it all by myself. but it think now that his brother is in jail i think it has made him think about life. i have already had an appointment at the job centre about which benefits i can get after the baby is born like child tax credit income support only until the baby's 15 weeks old then i would have to reclaim jsa in a joint claim unless my partner has found a job. i already get healthy start vouchers.
Health start grant is different to the vouchers, there's also a maternity grant from the job centre you're likely entitled to. Go to the council about having been kicked out, they might be able to sort out a place for you x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
